Don't know what I am doing...

 Let's be honest here, I'm betting about 11 people will read this, and 7 of them will be bots. 

When it comes to crafting an excellent story, I'm your guy. When it comes to getting a following... not so much.

I honestly don't know how to do this. I'm going to try to learn how to market myself, but I have ADHD. From what I can tell, marketing is a LOT of consistent work, which is something I struggle with. Habits are not things I form. So when I'm told I have to post VIDEOS (I'm a writer and have no right being in front of a camera) 4 times a day... My brain shuts down.

Seriously, how can anyone do that? I can't think of that many things to talk about! And if I did, they wouldn't be interesting or apropos. Which I suppose brings me to the real issue.

I am doing this alone.

All those authors on BookTok, they have people. Either someone with knowledge/time is helping them, they have a team, or they have a budget. Or all 3. I don't. The rest are super-type-A people who scare me. Being a "content creator" is not something I've ever desired. If I was asked to choose between producing drivel but getting personal fame or producing good, meaningful work but no one knows I did it, I would choose the second in a heartbeat. I want my WORK to be famous. I don't want to be. Just knowing that people are reading something I wrote fills me with a sense of satisfaction and joy, even if they never know it was me. (That being said, I am not about to promote plagiarism. I'd rather have no name attached than someone else's.)

I looked up the cost of a marketing team and holy crap on a carp, I cannot afford that. We're talking 6 digits.

I have had great help from my brother and sister, and great help from my editor, artist, and publisher. But none of them have the ability to dedicate the kind of time I need to do the things I want to do. It means 1) I end up waiting for someone else while I sit in Limbo or start working on a future project, 2) I end up having to figure out how to do things myself. I am *truly* grateful for the work they've done, don't get me wrong. I couldn't do this without them. But I want to work at a faster pace than I have been. Making a Kickstarter campaign takes a huge amount of time and thought (which makes it so much suckier when it fails due to ad shenanigans and an election). That's time I could spend writing/revising/editing/reading. 

I'm working against the clock, here. I'm 43 now, and I've only got so much time left before my brain decides to self-destruct. If I publish 1 book a year, by the time I am finished with what I am currently working on, I will be 55. And believe me when I say I will never run out of ideas for novels. Good ones. I got started late and I'm scrambling to make up for all that lost time.

If all I do is write, no one will know my books exist to read them. If all I do is promote, I'll have nothing to promote. 

This seems to be a sucky pattern in my life. If I am given a position of authority or power, I end up faltering. As leader of my lodge, I had a ton of great ideas and got to implement none of them because I just couldn't get anyone motivated enough to actually partake. When I was doing my Eagle project, a parent tried to take over for me because the volunteers kept running off to work on my brother's project instead. I had to tell him that it was MY Eagle and I had to be permitted to fail. I recorded a "how-to-play" video for the Board Game Rundown which involved writing a script and working on the camera work and all sorts of things. I never got to see it because it kept getting pushed aside for other videos so the editor never got around to it. I had so many ideas for fun videos but I couldn't get anyone to *do* them with me. I have failed at *so many things* and I don't want this to be just another failure. I can't do it on my own, but I can't rely on others, either.

If I had the equipment and know-how, I'd have a little bit better of a chance. But honestly, what I need is someone who knows what they are doing and can do it in a timely manner. There's a big difference between posting 4 videos a day and posting 4 *good* videos a day. 

Being neurodivergent *really* doesn't help.

Another Campaign Done—Another Lesson Learned

The campaign for "Fate & Fortune" ended with a little over 200% funding (though there are some backers that need to update their payment methods).

It was only half as successful as "A Sinister Love." While that is certainly disappointing, at least it made it past the $1000 mark (which is where it pays for the art and editing). This means that I will need to sell it in person and possibly have a second Kickstarter later.

The deluxe edition is a bust, however. The cost of each book goes down depending on how many I order, but at 9, it will cost more to print them than I sold them for. I am going to have to order a lot of them and sell them in person or in future campaigns. 

I did not anticipate the election becoming an issue. However, a lot of authors have told me that it is messing up their campaigns as well. Let's just say that this election, and everything it has touched, sucks. I suppose this means that I will need to be aware of other major events that could mess up campaigns.

I also could not have foreseen the mess-up with the ads. In short, my ad account on Meta was suspended (through no fault of my own) on day 1 and I received no notice of it. I did not discover it until day 5. I'm not sure how to prevent this in the future besides checking all my ad sources on a regular basis. It was a perfect storm of incidents.

The feather/quill bookmarks were not enough of an incentive, apparently, for anyone to share the campaign on their social media. When I sold at NekoCon, people thought they were awesome, and I did end up giving almost all of them away. Perhaps they're just a thing that must be seen live to appreciate. I am going to have to do a lot more for the next campaign...

...which won't be for a while.

There's a lot on my plate besides sending out my newest novel.

I'm having a launch party for my first book on December 7th at the Culture Cafe here in South Bend, so I want to get the word out and see if I can get some sort of interest. There's a small chance I'll have copies of my second there as well.

I am going to take part in at least one anthology (and will be looking for more).

I have to start revising book #3.

I have to finish the outline and rough draft of book #4. (Not to mention numbers 5-infinity)

I have to figure out a timeline for the children's book.

I need ads up for A Sinister Love! I need to get audible to actually post it since they approved of it months ago.

I have several short stories I want to get printed.

I need to make certain my trademark goes through.

I have a video series I want to launch. The first one was already recorded.

I have 2 separate animation projects AND a pitch to work on with my brother.

And on top of all that, it's the holiday season, so there's already a ton to do. The 1-year anniversary of my father passing is coming up and I don't want it to go by without something planned.

So, with that, I must go prepare dinner and do household things. Tonight... well, I'll figure it out then.

Hoping the FBI calls me

That’s right, you heard me.

I’m hoping the FBI calls me.

Last night, while going through my email, I discovered an email by someone labeled “ANONYMOUS” with the subject line, “SPENCER redacted, EVERY BOOK YOU PROMOTE WILL BE ON PIRATE SITES”.

I normally would skip over such an email, but I noticed it had no attachments, and it insulted me from the get-go. That’s not a phisher’s M.O. So I opened it to an all caps torrent of threats that I will not repeat here. In short, he called out Fate & Fortune specifically (but not A Sinister Love), he said he’d use A.I. to steal and plagiarize every book I promote on social media or put on goodreads.com, claimed to be immune to the law, and said he was sending my family’s information to local criminals (though he was much more specific with the kind, the sort that needs to be on a registry).

I have not responded, nor will I. But I did learn about how email is sent and how to find the full header in an email. I learned about IPv4 and IPv6 (your computer’s address online will look very different between the two formats). I learned how to trace someone’s IP. And then I learned about “bogun” addresses—IPs that aren’t assigned and can’t be traced. Even with the help of my computer whiz friend, there wasn’t much more I could do (besides report him to his email provider, which I did). I discovered that he, or someone similar, has been sending terrorizing emails to other authors for over a year, sometimes with specific threats and sometimes with an arsenal of 1-star reviews. For an indie author, a bunch of 1-star reviews could be career-destroying.

Then it occurred to me that he threatened my family. Thanks to a recommendation by a colleague, I decided to take this threat seriously. It is most likely nothing, but I can’t know that. And my wife’s job means that blackmail or threats could quickly become a matter of national interest. So, I filed an FBI report. If anyone can find this guy, it’s them. They might not do anything, though if they call me that means they need more information and are doing something. And, yes, the temptation to gloat is a strong one.

Hopefully, he’ll get a visit from some agents soon and his days of terrorizing authors will be over.

The Toll of Writing Death

Dear readers, writers, and fans,

As may of you know, I have a prelaunch page for my second book up on Kickstarter right now.

Because of this, I've been trying to polish the manuscript up. Because I cannot help myself, I have done this while waiting for my editor, which just means more work for me. Yay, self!

She did give me one comment, however, that had me realize a few flaws and ended up in me rewriting the entire opening (4 chapters and then some). Don't worry, I've sent them to her. This meant that I had to go through the entire thing looking for anything inconsistent with the new opening, so I decided that while I was doing that, I might as well read it out loud to myself.

If you are a writer, you are doing yourself a major disservice if you aren't reading your works out loud at least once during your revising/editing process. It's incredible the things you miss until you actually physically hear it. Also, step away from it and work on something else for a while. It helps.

Once I'm done, I will get to work on a book tour and getting images, add-ons, rewards, etc. for the Kickstarter campaign. Expect it to launch in October.

It made me want to make a post about the use of present tense words in past tense passages (yes, you absolutely can do this). But that will (maybe) be later.

What I wanted to briefly address with this post is the emotions writing can evoke, and nothing evokes emotions as much as death scenes. (And no, it's not a spoiler. It's page 1.) I'll get to that.

Have you, as a writer, ever noticed that certain scenes are just hard to write emotionally, like you can't bring yourself to put your character through what you have planned for them? Not only that, but writing your character making a mistake, doing something stupid, makes me want to yell at them as I'm writing them doing it!

I have one scene in particular that is based on an event that actually happened to me (you'll have to guess). Every time I write it, my heart rate picks up and I feel my face and ears flushing. The funny thing is, though, that I'm not thinking about what actually happened to me when I'm writing it. The fact that it happened to me just makes it that much easier to step into my main character's shoes and see it better through his eyes. It feels a bit like method acting, but for novelists.

Torturing my characters in some way is almost a pastime for me. Yet, I feel the pain they are going through. And, conversely, I feel the vitriol in the villain doing the torturing, the sadistic glee. It's a rollercoaster.

I've written a few death scenes before. Sometimes they are easier because of the length (death can be sudden and unexpected), but longer ones are harder to get just right because you want to do the characters justice. What are the perfect last words (and are they even completely spoken)? Is something in this scene metaphorical? If it's referenced later, I have to make certain every reference to it is accurate (from the recalling character's POV). And, regardless of the length, every important character's death should have echoes throughout the rest of the book. Otherwise, it's just death for death's sake, and that's poor writing (you know who you are).

But sometimes writing a death scene takes an emotional toll on me. I have one in particular that I have a hard time reading out loud because it makes me choke up. You'd think that I, as the writer, who authored their death, who has gone through the scene a dozen times at least, and who could change things at any time, would get over it at some point, right? Well, it hasn't happened yet. Perhaps this is because I love almost all of my characters in some way. I tear up when editing it. I wrote the damn thing, but sometimes it feels like the character's last words didn't come from me but were meant for me.

Writing is weird. Weird and wonderful.

It's also cathartic. Therapeutic. This is why people analyze stories (please analyze mine). Sure, the author didn't INTEND anything by making the wallpaper yellow... but what patterns do you see in the story's colors that reveal something the author didn't realize they put in there, something subconscious? I find patterns all the time in my own writing that look awesome and genius and were entirely unscripted. Does it mean something that the character who embodies ADHD originally died, but now gets revived? Does that mean I have come to terms with and am working with my ADHD instead of fighting it? Maybe. Are there parallels between my character's death and my father's? Good question.

Like, seriously good question. I'll need to think about it for a bit.

This is why I think everyone should write. That doesn't mean anyone else should ever see what you wrote (and, in fact, most people shouldn't let others see it except possibly their therapists). But it can draw out difficult emotions, help you work through things, give you a safe place to release, stoke your creativity AND analytical thinking.

I now get back to it. I still have so very much to learn about so many things surrounding this craft.

Things from GenCon I didn’t know (and neither did you)

I’ve been to going to GenCon annually since 2020, which means my first experience with it was during the COVID lockdown. It’s one of—if not THE—largest board game conventions in the world, and after attending this year (2024), I believe it. If you try to navigate the exhibition hall at the wrong time of day, may God have mercy on your soul.

But I’ve never gone to GenCon as a participant. I’ve always gone as a member of the Board Game Rundown crew. The first year, we were mobile, going around interviewing as many people as we could. The second year, we helped out with a booth giving demos between all the camera work. The then we got a booth! We would run demos, have interviews, all sorts of things. It was a blast! Last year, we did a massive giveaway in an attempt to get more subscribers (which did not have the impact we were hoping).

This is the first year where I have my own booth selling my own product… more or less. My boss graciously offered to give me a 4-foot section of the table to sell my novel at. And let me tell you, I learned a lot.

First off, people do not go to GenCon looking for books. They want games. So I quickly learned that no one was going to approach me—I had to fish for them. There’s a certain look where you *know* that person is a reader, but there are a lot of people who will surprise you. The key, I found, was twofold.

Eye Contact

Greeting

By watching everyone go by, I could see them quickly glance away, a not-so-subtle way of conveying that they don’t want to look at a book and have more important things to be doing. Most of those people were too fast or just smiled and kept walking if I tried greeting them.

But some people would look me in the eyes, and then I had a much better chance of getting them to come over. The best one, I found, was when someone’s eyes were lingering just a little too long on my books/amulets. A quick “Hey there! Do you like to read? Know someone who does?” usually got them talking. Sometimes it didn’t go anywhere, but more often than not, I at least got to hand them my business card/bookmark.

Following up the greeting with something else, either something personal (I see you’re a fan of Hazbin Hotel) or generic (What types of novels do you read?) was key. If I didn’t take that initiative, I would have made exactly 0 sales.

What I learned is that all those people passing by who think they aren’t interested in you or your book just don’t know that they are yet. I had my pitch down... a few of them in fact. When I put the book in their hands and told them my pitch, their body language changed and I could tell if they just went from considering me some annoying salesman to someone offering them a good time (15 bucks is cheap ifyouknowwhatImean). What I found even more fascinating was when I gave them the pitch for my second novel. Every single time, when I got to the very end, their eyes lit up and they said something along the lines of “woah!”

It was very reaffirming.

I thought my sales were lackluster until I talked to the other authors, who seemed impressed that I got the numbers I did with a single book to offer. That told me that maybe I really *am* where I’m meant to be. One reader came back a day later and told me she loved the book and couldn’t put it down and that my main character is her new favorite female protagonist. That was the best birthday present. Later, she’d shared it with friends and they were planning on starting a book club for it!

But it was hard work. Moving around the place is difficult. Food is expensive. Standing (if I sat I would miss out on sales) for 8 hours straight hurts. I figured out that bringing food is the way to go, but with it that crowded, I had to take bites when I could. 

I also learned the art of the upsell. Whenever I was handing them the book, I would then bring up the Surli bookmarks that were covered in puns and mention that they’re a dollar off if you buy the book. Sometimes, that was enough to convince them to buy the book as well!

I’m sure there’s going to be a whole lot more I’ll learn at FanExpo in Chicago in a couple of weekends. One of the best things I do at conventions is talk with the other authors. They almost always have friendly and useful advice and they’ve not steered me wrong yet! Plus, I get to see how they do it, and each one does it differently. Making these connections is unbelievably important.

Turning Pro

 With only 24 hours left on my Kickstarter (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/asinisterlove/a-sinister-love-by-spencer-hixon), I have to keep my eyes on the future.

I am juggling promotions, ads, new work, adding a newsletter, adding a Patreon, pledge fulfillment (which is a huge thing), and being a dad and husband. And I feel like I don’t know what I am doing with any of it.

You know, like a professional.

They say “fake it till you make it” but I think it would be better to say “act like it.”

I got in touch with an author who has many, many books and who I’ve met several times at conventions. Chris Schmitz. It seems to me that authors run into two “wannabe authors”, those who have a dream (probably 90%) and those who are working towards that dream. So when they heard me asking, as one put it, “the right questions,” they all were extremely helpful and kind. Chris has been and more. He’s treating me like a fellow professional and that means the world to me.

By researching what other authors do, I’m acting like one, right? Who knows if my novels will ever be a financial success. At the moment the Kickstarter will pay for the book’s art and editing. Someday, who knows? I could even do more than break even. But if I don’t, if I’m a failure, it won’t be because I didn’t act like a novelist.

Pounding that Pavement

 One of the things I really need to work on is exposure.

Not that kind.

Starting from scratch without the luck of having any real connections means I’ll likely be forming my base of fans for a long time to come. And I‘m just not quite sure how. Unlike many writers, I’m an ambivert, AKA I’m outgoing and sociable. Sometimes. But that doesn’t particularly help me online. 

• Blog
• Facebook
• Tumblr
• Twitter/X 
• newsletter
• Kickstarter list
• Facebook ads
• Tumblr ads
• Cold calling everyone I know

It’s a start, I suppose. But I decided it wouldn’t hurt to put up some fliers as well.  I mean, who knows? I hung up 15 today in various coffee shops and libraries. I’ve got more to put up in Columbus, OH, if I find the time. And then I’ll get some put up hopefully in the Atlanta area and the DC area, as well as North Carolina.  It helps to have a team that’s kinda spread out.

So here’s hoping that this works, at least a little. Even one person would pay for the flyers.

Fliers.

However you wish to spell it.

I had a feeling there would be complications

Hello everyone!

I wanted to let you all know how my new Kickstarter Campaign is going.

I suppose I’ve been in a rush to get it published. After all, it’s my first! And I suppose I have this idea that if I can write more than one book a year, I’ll really be a professional writer. Well… PUBLISH more than one book a year. We’ll see!

I’ve already had to push things back, however.

The original plan was to start the campaign on the 4th of March and start felling the book on April 8.

Then I found out that we weren’t really ready for it. The video had to be worked on, the graphics, lots of logistics. It got pushed back to the 12th… then the 21st…

There are good reasons, though. A Kickstarter campaign is a lot of work! So is designing merchandise. And since I’ve been told that Monday are the best time to start a campaign, I keep pushing it back by a week…

And last week I had 2 birthdays in the family. My wife was traveling, too (she does that a lot). We have a new kitten. And now there’s Easter, which I am not at all ready for. On top of that, family is visiting! 

I don’t know what this means for things. I haven’t been able to push the book as much as I’ve wanted to. I’m still tentatively starting the campaign on the 1st, but I meet with my publisher tomorrow and we’ll see!

Publication has to be postponed because the printer hasn’t sent us the proofs yet, so I haven’t seen the final product myself! 

Work work work

I thought it would be a good idea to update you all on my current situation (even if most of you are just bots).

I have been hella busy.

• We have a new kitten (8 months) who took a while to acclimate but now he always wants to play and loves yowling at random intervals. However, he is freaking adorable and super affectionate.

• I have been teaching a bunch of junior high kids about writing! And not just "this is grammar" and "this is how you write a 5 paragraph essay" (though I did go over common grammatical errors yesterday), but how to write professionally. There is so much about writing novels that you simply don't learn in school. Hell, I didn't learn this stuff in college; I had to venture out on my own to teach myself. But no, I don't just stop with The Hero's Journey, Scene & Sequel (I formally petition we change that awful name to Action & Reaction thank you), or worldbuilding. I'm teaching them things like how you can't use any lyrics in your book without violating copyright, the different kinds of publishing, query letters, crowdfunding, how to give AND TAKE critique/criticism, formatting, etc. I want to teach them how to actually get a book published. My theory is that they don't teach you this stuff in college because most professors can publish through the university press or go through very different channels, so they simply don't know. I find it fulfilling, even if so far only 2 or 3 of the kids have actually turned in their assignments.

• The next two weeks, I am single-parenting it again. Doesn't seem like a big deal? Yesterday, I didn't get to sit down at the computer until 10 pm.

• But mostly I am working on Kickstarter. In case you were unaware, I am setting up a Kickstarter campaign to help fund my first novel (well, really, to help fund my career as a novelist). It is exciting! However, there's also a lot of learning, trial and error, logistics, planning, etc. In other words, work. I've got most of it ready (and I owe a huge amount of that to my brother (https://www.hixonart.com/) and sister for doing most of the graphics and teaching me basic photoshop skills.
  
  We'll be offering the books, of course, in paperback, hardcover, e-book, and audiobook formats (as read by me). I'm also making these Soul Stone amulets that I think look awesome! I have a crazy expensive tier for one person to take where they get to collaborate with me to make a character for my fourth novel (which is the sequel to the first and the one I am ready to start drafting). My favorite thing, however, are the bookmarks!
  
  They all feature Surli, a Siri-esque digital assistant for demons who has an attitude (not quite Bad Janet from The Good Place but it's a good starting point). One each bookmark, she has a snarky comment about what you're reading and I adore them (and her). "Some of these words are hard. For you." "You're only this far? Ugh, you're so slow." "Is this smut? Does Jesus know you're reading this? I'm so proud of you!" Each physical copy will get at least one.
  
  I've also got some pretty awesome stretch goals, I think. Now, I'm still new to this whole world of book collecting, so I don't have any upgrades to the books (but I likely will in future campaigns), but I do have an amazing artist who will provide more sketched to purchase as well as a full-color image (but we've got to raise quite a bit for that). Backers can also unlock some free short stories that I have yet to write, so they will be exclusive to this campaign, at least for quite a while.
  
  What's left? Well, I need to finish mastering the audiobook (mostly there), I need to get a PO Box, I need figure out the logistics of providing signatures, I have to fix the audio on my video, I need to finish the images (we're still working on the bookmark mock-ups), I need to submit it for approval, I need to start campaigning and spreading the word...

So, as you can see, I am a busy bee. And because of that, I will be signing off. Hope to see you all on the Kickstarter!

Updates and Scams and Kittens and Stuff

 Hello, hello!

Yes, it's been a little bit, but I hope you (all 3 of you, you know who you are) can forgive me. It's been busy.

First, I have been working to get this Kickstarter campaign for A Sinister Love off the ground. I'm making amulets I call "soul stones" because that's a thing in my book, but so far they all seem to get strange bubble-like patterns beneath the cabochon and I do not know why. It appears days later. I've been using mod podge, but I may have to try out an alternative, like UV resin. OR it might be the image not sticking right to the amulet. It's not a huge deal, but I want to be able to make the best product I can for you!

I've also been working on the audio for the video that will play. My brother and sister are putting together the video and various images. I finally got the voice over recordings from the actress I hired, but they were raw and needed to be mastered. Luckily, I've become rather decent at that if I do say so myself, on account of having to do it to my audiobook (which is a lot longer than 30 seconds). Somehow, I was able to remove all the mouth noises, background sounds, artifacts, etc. and put all of it together into one file (it's 35 seconds but close enough). Then I looked around for royalty-free music. I played one and it sounded good, it almost matched, so I deleted the first 5 seconds (it was a build-up anyway) and suddenly it fit the audio *PERFECTLY*. I was almost in tears. I love it!

My artist, Graziel (maybe I should ask if she'd like a character with her name in the book), has provided me several more pieces of art to showcase other characters. Now I just need the cover image, Surli's image, and images of the merch... then I think we can start throwing it all together! At some point I need to record myself to add to the video, but that's not a big deal.

The goal is to have it up by March 8th. Mark your calendars. (Actually, I would like to launch it on March 4th... but we'll see if that's enough time).

We also got a new kitten! He's a grey, medium-hair fluffball filled who is turning out to be full of affection and playfulness. It's just taken him a few days to come out of hiding.

I've been secretly teaching myself something that I plan on showing off when I meet with the family in April. I just have to make sure I've got it down pat or I'll ruin the effect.

We have the memorial for my father in April, as well as the total solar eclipse AND the release of my book (yes, I put them both down for the same day).

I've been tossing around an idea in my head for a tiktok series where I tackle fan theories or incomplete shows coming from a writer's point of view. I noticed that there is no shortage of fan theories (for everything under the sun), but soooooo many of them would make for a terrible show. Though I also think I could add that I have ADHD. See, it never occurred to me that I could highlight this as a reason to buy my book. Then I found this Youtube series called "How To ADHD" and wow... it's definitely worth watching, whether you have ADHD or know someone who does (and you probably do). The one that really got me so far is about rejection sensitivity and avoidance. As she started describing it, I started to realize that it explains SO MUCH about the choices I've made in the past, from my relationships to my schooling to my writing. It also never occurred to me that someone with ADHD may have *stronger* emotions than other people. I just learned to mask mine.

But enough about that. I wanted to finish this post up with a little story about this time I thwarted a scam artist.

Yeah. I know. Random.

(Hello? ADHD!)

---------

I used to work in a school district in South Carolina. I was their grant writer, but I was new and so they wanted to train me (which in the end didn't work, but that's a story for another time). They found this big seminar where some expert was going to give those of us who signed up a workshop and lecture about grant writing.

Well, they were supposed to send me a packet with information (like which building on the campus they were going to use, the itinerary, etc.). I kinda needed it. But they sent me an incomplete packet which didn't have the all-important information. So I called them up in California and got to someone who said they would send me the packet right away and told me which building and room it was supposed to be in. But, being the inquisitive researcher that I am, I started to look this up. Something smelled fishy (namely I had a piece of conflicting information). Well, the room *had* been set aside for the seminar, but the group putting it all together canceled their reservation with exactly as much time as they needed to get their money back (I figured that part out). The event space owners had no clue. MAJOR red flag. So I researched the lecturer. He had been quickly contacted by the group and asked to give a lecture about grant writing, but knew almost nothing else, not even that the reservation had been canceled. ANOTHER major red flag. Then I researched the group.

They had done this many times in the past. Their M.O. was to call local professors and get them to show up to give a lecture with the promise of pay (which never happened), make it look and sound all official by having pamphlets and a location and stuff, get a bunch of people to sign up, then cancel their reservation and pull out *fast*. I tried calling them again, but never got an answer after that first time. I wonder why. This left the professors hanging in the breeze and looking like they were responsible when a bunch of people showed up to a locked building. The professors never saw any pay from it, either. But the kicker is this—they had done this about once a month for the past 6 or so months, but after the lecture I was signed up to go to, their schedule massively ramped up to 1 or even 2 a week all over the country. 

I told the school district and called the bank to tell them about the scam. We were able to keep our $600 entry fee. And then I started sending out emails. You see, I managed to track down the location they were working out of. I no longer remember which agency or agencies I contacted with all the information I had. I also reported them to the BBB and began leaving scathing and truthful comments on every platform they had.

I don't know for certain that I shut down their operation, but I certainly did my best and would have made the cops' jobs easier.

Exciting news!

 As I'm sure I've stated before (or maybe I haven't), I have a tentative date for the release of my debut novel, A Sinister Love. 

April 8th! The solar eclipse!

I can't wait. It is exciting and daunting and nerve-wracking all at once. It may not be with a big publisher, but this is still a lifelong dream come true! 

But we're also going to do a Kickstarter for it! We have some pretty good ideas for what to offer you all, but it is going to mean a lot of hard work in a short period of time.

It doesn't help that this is the first time I'll have been on the other side of a Kickstarter campaign.

Here's a list of the things I need to do for it... or at least some of the things.

1- Get a video
    My brother will take care of this, but I need to get him all the information, a breakdown/script of what will be in it. I also need to get interviews in for the video, as well as sounds effects, voice actor(s), etc. I will need to do some research.

2- Make an outline of the campaign page
    I've dealt with plenty of Kickstarter campaigns as a host of the Board Game Rundown. We used to do a segment on what was new to crowdfunding, plus I've made connections with people who have run their own campaigns, both successfully and unsuccessfully. But this is the first time I'll be on the other side of the page. I'm looking at similar projects now to get an idea of what they do.

3- Images
    Part of getting the outline of the page done is figuring out every single image in it so I can assign these to my sister or others to put together for me. This not only means a mock rendering of the novel in its various forms, but of all the merchandise as well. Plus there are headers, stretch goals, and other miscellaneous images that must be made.

4 - Tiers
    Seems obvious, but it's not. Every KS has different levels of rewards you can earn for donating so much money. Offering too few can hurt sales, but so can offering too many. So, my current thought is:

• get on the mailing list
• get the e-book and some bit of merch
• get the audiobook and some bit of merch
• get a signed paperback
• get a signed hardcover
  
• book club tier

I also want to offer a really awesome opportunity for 1 or 2 backers willing to pay. But I'm not going to say what it is. 😜

4- Merchandise!
    As a wise culture once said, "Merchandising! Merchandising! Where the *real* money from the movie is made." Well I don't know about that, but it certainly isn't going to hurt. Plus there are a lot of things I can offer. At the moment, I'm toying with a few ideas but I need to narrow and pin them down. I also realized that one of my characters, Surli (a snarky digital assistant), is perfect for merchandising. Options include: Surli pins, Surli bookmarks, Surli stickers, Surli thumb drives, postcards, coasters, signed digital copies of the cover art, soul stone jewelry, heck even a Surli plush (squeeze it and it insults you!). 

5- Stretch goals
    Most crowdfunding campaigns do better if there are good stretch goals that are achievable. I've come up with a few that I am proud of. First, I have already asked my artist and she is more than willing to produce new art, so one or two of the stretch goals will be to break open new art prints as an add-on. She already did a second piece of art for the book, so one stretch goal might be to offer the choice between two different covers. Not only is more art going to be available, but with enough backers, I will offer non-digital prints of the signed art, even a metal print! Finally, with enough backers, everyone will get a free short story (or two) telling them more about the characters (I already have several in mind that I would love to write). 

6- Shipping and other logistics
    Boring stuff, but super important. I've got to figure out how to ship everything. I'm just one guy, so if this operation goes viral, I'll need to have a plan for how to tackle that. I need to be able to estimate shipping costs to the various parts of the world (if I can find an overseas press, that might help with a lot of it, but they'd likely still have to mail me book covers I can sign and then mail back to them). There are a lot of logistics to consider, include pricing, what pledge manager to use, timing, monetary goal for the campaign, etc.

7- Risks
    Everything carries risks, even if you don't see them at first. I learned from some good friends who have also sold books via Kickstarter that some risks just can't be anticipated. No one could have guessed that a worldwide pandemic would cause the price of both shipping and PAPER to skyrocket, for instance. Now, there are ways to mitigate some of this (for instance, not including the cost of shipping in the campaign, just an estimate, and having the shipping cost be applied during the pledge manager part to eliminate some of the time between estimated shipping and actual shipping). I can only cross my fingers that something doesn't happen that will kill the campaign.

8- Transparency
    I'm bad about updated as frequently as I should, but that would have to change the moment the KS campaign opens. The site would need to be transparent and truthful about timing, costs, shipping, etc. and I would need to keep the backers in the loop regularly.

9- LLC
    I'm not a businessman and I've never taken business classes. But it was brought to my attention that if I start offering a host of merchandise to go along with the book, it might behoove me to start my own business...

There's more, there's always more... and I'm already thinking towards the future.

We are kicking around the idea of having a second Kickstarter later (or just part of the KS for the next book). Having a full-cast audiobook would be awesome. I would love to offer a leather-bound, gilt hardcover with ribbon bookmark and illustrations throughout. Plus, I might be able to figure out some way to make an actual Surli, either an AI or some sort of Siri/Alexa modification. For a later KS campaign, where I have more than a month to pull it all together (and hopefully a bit of a following by then), I would have a second group of Stretch Goals—Social Goals! I've seen this used to great effect in the past. It would be some awesome stretch goal that is only unlocked when enough people fulfill a list of social requirements, spreading the word on social media while tagging someone (and maybe mentioning something related to the book), taking a picture of yourself with either devil horns or a halo and posting it online, etc. I even saw one campaign that included a bunch of puzzles to solve and those who solved them all got a free add-on (less "social" and more "get them excited").
Or, there's always the possibility of... a crossover with another IP...

So there you have it. For the next month I am going to be hella busy. I can't wait, to be honest, but it's still a bit intimidating.

Wish me and A Sinister Love luck! If you have an idea of some piece of merch you would like to see, post it in the comments below.

Satisfying Sounds in Audacity

I've been working rather hard on this audiobook.

Part of the problem is that I apparently make a lot of "mouth sounds." But I am also running into things like a purring cat, strange vibrations, and mispronunciations.

Now, mouth sounds are supposed to be easy to fix. My mouth sounds are not. I get the normal clicks that a "declicker" can catch, sure, but it doesn't get them all. I also get wet smacking sounds and guttural sounds that aren't so easy to fix. 

Yet, I keep learning more about Audacity and either discovering or inventing new tricks to deal with them. Only a few have been able to get through.

A caveat: I am NOT an expert. I watched some of the experts. I am unwilling to spend an hour on less than 5 minutes of audio.

Here are some of the things I do.

Most of the mouth sounds are not actually during words. They're between words, right before or after a word. So if i copy a section of room silence (just record the empty room—you need this at the start and end of files anyway) and then paste it in place of the section between words (no matter HOW small), you'll take care of 90% of the sounds.

There's actually an easier trick I figured out on my own. There's something called a "low-pass filter." All this means is it turns the volume down (or off) on anything above a certain hertz (i.e. higher "notes") and lets the lower ones pass through. If I put the filter on to catch anything about, say, 150 Hz, and I use that only on the parts where I'm not speaking, it neatly eliminates almost every unwanted sound. What makes this easier is that I can then type ctrl-r and repeat it. No deleting for length is needed and if the room sound changes a little, it sounds much more natural.

But sometimes a sound is RIGHT where I'm talking. Chances are, if I do the trick above to either side of the word, my voice drowns out the rest and you can't hear it. And if it's short enough, and I zoom in far enough (and use "z" so it doesn't make artifacts), just deleting that section can usually remove the sound without really affecting my voice. But there are other things to do.

Audacity's "spectral" tools are neat and can be useful, or they can be useless. By right-clicking on the y-axis, I can change the view to "spectrum." This shows where the sounds are in hertz. Then I select the offending part and work up and down the word using "spectral delete" to figure out just WHERE that little bugger is hiding (if it isn't obvious). Once I find it, I undo everything and then use "spectral multi tool" on it. That often hides the sound without disturbing my voice too much. But this only works maybe 30% of the time. For instance, in the case of my purring cat, her purr is at the same hertz as the bulk of my voice, so anything I do to her purr affects my voice as well.

This is where I look for the "noise gate." The noise gate works kinda like the low- or high-pass filter, except instead of blocking a range of notes, it blocks a range of volume. Since her purr is a lot quieter than my voice, I play around with the settings until it blocks out her but doesn't affect me. Voila!

What if i can't find the sound on the spectrum and a filter would kill too much of the sound? Equalizer! Audacity has a variety of them. the graphic equalizer lets you turn up and down different frequency ranges. They say most unwanted sounds are in the 8k+ range, but a lot of mine are close to 3 or 4. Turning down a band or two for a short section usually doesn't affect my voice enough to be noticed by someone just listening to the book, and if it doesn't outright kill the sound, it can turn it down enough that it gets ignored. "Preview" is really good for this. I use it all the time.

If there's a short sound (like a click) that the declicker didn't get, but it's during part of a word where I simply can't mess around with my voice at all (like a "d"), or if I want to do things "the right way," I can use "repair." Right-click on the y-axis and change the view from amp to dB. Then zoom zoom zoom in. Find the offending section. Select just it or part of it (the tool can only fix really small areas) and use repair until it's all gone. When it works, it is freaking awesome. But so far, it is very hit or miss.

If you're having trouble finding just WHERE a sound is, I have a way. When you push play, the end of a selected section is often left off, but the beginning is always precise. So place the cursor before the sound and push play until you hear it. Then pause. Move the cursor further down and try it again. Keep doing that until you hit a section where you don't hear the sound and you know it is just before that part. Granted, there's often a clicky sound when you push play in the middle of the word, so you have to learn to tune that out.

Of course, there's another awesome way to get rid of an errant sound. I was having trouble with a strange vibration that went throughout an "s." It was a broad enough spectrum that if I removed it using the spectrum tools, my voice would sound like I was in a tin can. It was the same volume as my voice. It wasn't small, so repair wouldn't work. I was at a loss! So... I found another place where I used an "s" and copied it, then pasted that over the offending "s." Lo and behold, I couldn't tell I'd done anything and the vibration was gone. I've been able to use that trick for many letters and even entire words, but I have to be careful because the tone and volume of my voice might change between the original and the new sections. I ALWAYS play it back to make sure it sounds smooth.

What if I realize I left off a bit of a word (like a "d" or "s")? Copy paste from another! But that doesn't work for everything. Sometimes, I slur my words together. I rush. Rushing is bad. "Hehad toooze" instead of "He had to ooze" (don't judge me, it's an example) sounds awful. I have a couple options.

The first is to take some (TINY bit) of the room noise and paste it between the words. However, that will sound terrible. So I use "fade out" and "fade in" on the ends of the two words. Often, that is enough to make it sound like a natural flow. 

The second is a bit harder but sounds even better. Find where the two words should separate. Then make a divot between them. Turning down the volume a little and in increments can work but is time consuming and doesn't sound the best. There's a way to do it with one of the fade tools, but I haven't figured it all out yet (I believe it uses "adjustable fade"). But there's a cheat. I add room noise between the two words, then I fade either end like before. But instead of leaving some of the room noise there, I actually select the very tips of the two sections and delete them WITH the room noise. I gotta use "z" and I need to make sure both parts are at the same volume level (zoom in a lot), but what I end up with is a smooth divot between the words. It's enough that you'll easily differentiate the two words while listening to the book.

Hopefully this will help someone who is in a similar situation.

Sus Sounds

 As you may be aware, I have been recording the audiobook of A Sinister Love and I’ve been learning a lot of things about audio editing and recording, especially about Audacity, which is the free software I’m using.

But there have been a few kinda creepy things that happened. 

I use a Scarlet interface between my mic (which uses phantom power) and my computer. Now I was having trouble connecting my headphones to it (I needed.a 3.5 adapter). The day I got the adapter I needed, I was watching a clip from The Tonight Show on my iPad (which I use to read the book while I’m recording) while doing some chores first. Then I tried to hook up my headphones to the Scarlet, but I couldn’t figure out how to get sound. I still haven’t figured it out. But to appreciate what happened, I need to give my setup.

I use a Scarlet connected via USB to my Windows laptop. My headphones are connected via bluetooth to the laptop most of the time, but this time I had them connected to the Scarlet. The iPad is not part of this setup at all.

So I plugged the headphones in and couldn’t hear anything. I turned the volume up all the way… and suddenly I could hear, faintly and muffled, the clip from the Tonight Show that I’d been watching. I checked the iPad… it was no longer on that video or playing anything. My phone wasn’t playing anything. My computer didn’t even have that website open. If I plugged it into the computer, nothing. But I plugged it back into the Scarlet and I could hear it again.

It was a little freaky, but mostly a mystery.

However, after I had finished recording, I had to sit down and listen intently to every track to get rid of extraneous sounds and make it all sound good. I turned it up LOUD for this. There are a lot of mouth sounds to get rid of. I heard a conversation in the background of one of the tracks, but I’m always alone in the house when I record. I chalked it up to someone talking outside.

But late last night, as I was listening in where I heard some mouth sounds, I noticed a strange hum. I turned it up all the way.

It was a girl humming a song. She sounded young, 8 or less. There weren’t any words. But it was so quiet, it couldn’t have been from outside, not to mention there are no little girls on our street. It stopped a couple seconds after I noticed it (my voice would have masked any more of it before then), but I went back and listened three times.

I should have saved that bit of audio. I deleted it because that part of the recording was extraneous… and also because it freaked me the hell out.

It’s enough to make a guy believe in ghosts.

Scrooge: A Christmas Carol review

 Last year, Netflix released an animated remake of a 1970 film called Scrooge: A Christmas Carol. It has not received very high ratings, but I am going to give my unpopular opinion right now and say it is actually SUPERIOR to the original story by Dickens.

Scandal! How dare he say that!

Let's start with the fact that A Christmas Carol was written in the 1840s and that Dickens is extremely overrated. If you read the story, it lacks punch or bite, at least compared to today's tales. the foreshadowing of Scrooge's death was meant to evoke mystery or fear, when all it does is scream, "IT'S EBENEZER! HE SNUFFED IT!"

The Netflix version keeps up a modern pacing. It's a musical (and the music has grown on me quite a bit). It removes some scenes and combines things to make the story more efficient without losing any of the meaning. The acting in it is actually very good (I was flabbergasted to see that Jacob Marley was played by Jonathan Price!). Of course everyone knows what happens, but the interesting thing is watching Scrooge change.

His change starts when he sees Belle again. Dickens doesn't even mention Belle until she is leaving him. There was no build-up, no foreshadowing, nothing. Her leaving him is tantamount to introducing a character just to kill them in the same scene and hope the audience gets a reaction out of it. The new version, however, shows him lighting up when he sees her face. It shows him as a young man with virtue, someone worthy of being loved. There's a song about how deeply in love the two of them were. throughout the movie, we see his pocketwatch, and here we learn it was a gift from her. Adding this all makes the next scene SO much more poignant.
In the original tale, Belle "releases him" of their engagement because he has changed; in his desire to prevent the vagaries of life from ruining him, he turned all his focus on greed. She hopes he feels some pain in this but knows it will be brief. Then Scrooge cries out for it to stop. But we don't really get any sense of what was going on as he watched the scene, there's no explanation as to WHY he wanted the scene to stop—was he tortured over losing her, over what he became, over how she saw him? Indeed, the last would have more merit than the others because the next scene we see Belle with a husband and kids being told how lonely Scrooge became and Scrooge does not like how they see him.  We will get back to this bit later.
In the animated version, he *very* clearly regrets his actions. Scrooge attempted to distract the Spirit of Christmas Past (who is a fabulous character, by the way) because he didn't want her to bring him to that moment. BUT we also see how Jacob Marley was corrupting him. He was the reason Cratchit's family is poor (putting Bob Cratchit's father into debtor's prison)—another detail I adore—and in the same scene he discovers that Belle witnessed the entire thing. Now we can SEE he changed and how much it affected her. During the breakup song (possibly my favorite in the soundtrack), time freezes and he gets a moment without the Spirit to express how he *truly* felt, and begs his younger self to go with her. You can see that he had fallen in love with her all over again.

But more than that, we see WHY he hated Christmas so much. He had to work on Christmas (or study in the book), but in this version, his beloved sister also died in childbirth on Christmas (which resulted him despising his nephew whom he blames), he fell in love with Isabelle around Christmas, she broke up with him on Christmas... After we see just how much he wants his younger self to go with her, it's easy to believe the breakup hurt him deeply but he had to hide it all, harden himself.

Do you see yet why I prefer this newer version? Well, there's one more really major reason I've hinted at, but we'll get there.

Next is Christmas Present. Now, I will give the devil his due. I love how his own words are thrown back at him in the original tale when he shows concern for Tiny Tim, and I like the 2 children, Ignorance and Want (even though they were entirely unnecessary). Likewise, a great deal of time was spent showing that Scrooge would actually enjoy company and loved playing games, even when he wasn't seen nor heard.
But in the original tale, he is mostly distraught over what they all think of him. His nephew isn't quite as kind as he might be. This is in sharp contrast to the new version, where his nephew reminds him that he, too, loved Scrooge's sister, even though he didn't get to know her, that they were family, and that somewhere inside was the good person his mother adored. It's a much kinder Fred, but also shifts the focus from Scrooge to their relationship.
When we see the Cratchits, Scrooge shows concern over Tiny Tim. In the book, Tiny Tim is seen as frail, support by a crutch and "iron frame." Apparently that was enough for Scrooge to suddenly be worried about the child's welfare. In the movie, Tiny Tim is small and has a crutch, but also has coughing fits—the same ones his sister had but which she recovered from once their father paid for medicine. Again, in the original story we see little of Scrooge's reactions to what is going on when compared to pretty much ANY modern retelling. In this version, Tiny Tim busks for money with his sister and is a lovely singer, making Tiny Tim more than just "crutch-boy." And Scrooge turns away with tears in his eyes as he realizes HE could actually be helping the child, that Bob wasn't just giving him a line when he said his son needed medicine.

Finally, we come to Christmas Future and the biggest reason I think this version is superior to any other I've ever seen (sorry Muppets).
In the original story, Scrooge there are a bunch of scenes that are either completely useless or basically get summed up into one scene in the movie (along with a catchy tune, "Thank you very much."). Here I would like to point something out.
Dickens throws so much foreshadowing that Scrooge had to have been an absolute idiot if he didn't realize that he was the one who had died. That is a character flaw of Scrooge, likely willful disbelief. But what we get in the movie is called dramatic irony. That is when the audience knows something important that the characters don't know. Scrooge had NO WAY of knowing that the reason everyone was praising his name was because he had died, but the audience gets to see one of the characters literally dancing on his coffin. Scrooge is put in a GOOD mood.
The end, though, is the most important bit. The movie takes two scenes and combines them—learning of Tiny Tim's death and seeing his own grave. In the book, Scrooge has 0 reaction to learning of Tiny Tim's death. Seriously, after the little spark of worry he had earlier, he doesn't say a word about it. Instead he is more preoccupied with who the dead man was. He is led to his own grave where he immediately and rather anticlimactically embraces Christmas and Goodness and all that jazz. 
In the movie, he follows the group of cheering townsfolk to the graveyard, but sees Bob Cratchit at Tiny Tim's grave. This makes him distraught more than anything else. This is where he asks if this is the vision of things that will come or things that may. He has pretty much made up his mind at that point to be a good person, because he knows he can actually *help* others. Then he is led to his grave (which also has a lovely scene of him seeing his own spirit in the same fashion as Jacob Marley's... and the gold coins on the eyes, such a delicious touch). But even AFTER seeing this, he says, "If I am doomed, so be it, but at least give me a chance to help the boy first!"

Did you see that? Let me spell it out. In Dicken's version, Scrooge was selfish and remained so. The entire reason he repented was over how people saw him. A- He didn't like how Belle's husband described him as lonely and wretched. B- He didn't like people stealing his stuff after he died. C- He didn't like that people were happy he was dead. D- He didn't like how his nephew and their friends talked about him.

For years I wondered if I was the only one who saw this. In all the other versions, it's the same. He wants to wipe his own name from the grave. But in this version? A- He accepts his death but pleads for a chance to help Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim's death—from a condition he saw his sister recover from—was the real impetus he had in changing his ways. B- He wants a chance to show his nephew Fred that person his sister had loved, to accept him as part of the family finally. C- When he looks down at his watch, he says, "I'm happy Isabelle found her happiness. I only hope I'm not too late to find my own." It shows he's moving on and finally letting go, that he's returning to the person she had fallen for in the first place.
It ties together all the people he started helping in a better way. I hope you agree with me that this is just superior. Scrooge: A Christmas Carol has pretty much ruined all other iterations of the story for me.