Juggling

 I've actually been able to get things done recently, but this leaves me wondering... when am I going to slip up?

I'm juggling so many things, what if I forget something or an emergency crops up (as they are wont to do)? Will I be able to fix things and keep juggling, or will everything come crashing down?

At the moment, I am still figuring out some sort of schedule. I still have plans for things, so many things, but that's just adding more balls in the air for me to juggle. If I do that, I will need a good schedule. With summer coming on and my kids about to get out of school, my schedule is going to have to change. How will this alter things for me?

There are so many out there doing this on their own. I, however, am lucky that my wife is on my team. She understands and helps me treat this as my job. If she wasn't in my corner, my chances of being a successful writer would be dead in the water.

Today I went through a bunch of old things I'd written... from as young as the age of 4. It's very clear that writing was always something I was interested in and decent at. I am struck at how much they made me write in school compared to how much they make my kids write. But, no, I'm not going to save these things. There's not going to be some future researcher looking for my first writings - I have no delusions that I will ever be that famous or good. Yes, I want to have this story read by as many people as possible, enjoyed by them all, but fame and fortune are not my goal and never have been. Still, I need to be fairly compensated for this work. It's a career, not a hobby.

Impatient

 Am I impatient?

Yes.  Yes I am.

We all are, aren't we? We all want that instant gratification that modern technology promises, that we've all grown accustomed to. But while looking for a literary agent, instant gratification is just not happening.

All that I've learned says that I need to take the time to gain exposure in the community.

I've won Daily Deviation from DeviantArt 3 times, but I doubt agents care too much about that.

I used to write flashfic every Friday, but it means nothing if it's not published in a magazine.

I disliked Twitter before it was purchased on a whim and run to the ground by a puerile, spoiled manchild. Now I hate it. I hate that it's gradually turning into an extremist echo-chamber. I hate that everyone in the industry uses it so much.

I tried to be involved locally, but COVID shot that down.

The Board Game Rundown is growing and I love it, I'm excited for it. But it's not exactly a writing forum. I've also been absent from the discord. It's not that I'm not interested, I just have so much to do and don't know what to say.

So my dilemma is, do I start getting myself out there now while I look for agents, or do I wait to look for agents until I've gained some exposure?

I am impatient. So I will attempt the former. But I'm going into this guns blazing. Twitter, yes. Short stories for magazines, yes. Articles for BGR, yes. I might even check out Goodreads. And this blog? I used to have a readership, now I must build it from the ground up all over again. At one point I was writing a story one chapter at a time here. I think I might start that up again.  Then there is HixonArt. My twin brother is a rather good digital animator, but he is never satisfied with the stories he comes up with. He has asked me to write some for him, and we've already started. We are both happy with what we've come up with, and I cannot wait to see it transition into reality!

The most likely reason I feel impatient, other than the fact that it's taken so long to get things in order, is that I am close. Those last 100 yards to the finish line can feel like a mile.

Hitting My Stride

 

I'm terrible at making good posts. I don't use pictures because I don't feel I should be bothered. I rarely edit them. And so far, posting has been few and far between as it is.

It's been like that for A LOT of things in my life.

There was a point where my basement was torn up and basically unusable, I'm forced to deal with a child with encopresis (look it up) which included a hospital visit, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I was spending time going to my sister's house hundreds of miles away to prepare a house for my mother who will be *very* ungrateful for all the work we've done, I was busy with the freemasons, the house was a disaster...   The list of things goes on and on and on. Truly, I could continue for paragraphs about how insane things have been. This is just scratching the surface.

A lot of that was due to COVID. It really messed things up, physically, psychologically, etc.

So I decided enough was enough. I was 40! And I've accomplished none of my goals!

At some point in the last 2 years, I became fed up with incompetence. I decided I would no longer coddle those who did an unsatisfactory job. This, however, included myself! Nay, it was mostly about myself. So I started taking steps to improve my life.

Step 1: Get my ADHD under control. 

I've had it since I was a kid, but I'd never properly educated myself about it. So I did. It was eye-opening to finally connect certain behaviors and understand what was really going on. If you want to know more, check out my article about it on the Game Talk Network. One of the things I learned, though, is that ADHD is highly treatable, and it had been ages since I took medicine for it. So I went to my doctor and we tried out a few until we found a medicine and dose that works for me.

Step 2: Get my depression under control. 

While dealing with ADHD, my doctor realized I was also suffering from depression, and had been for quite a while. This did involve medicine as well, but it also involved finding a therapist. The first one was not a good fit for me. We got into political arguments and she offered no insight or help. The second, though, is a very good fit and I like her a lot. It helps to have her break things down, even just to have someone to talk to about things.

Step 3: Get in shape.

I've always been an active person, but my relationship with gyms has been on again, off again. Part of the problem is that I have NO IDEA what I am doing at the gym. This is where not putting up with incompetence comes into play. I hired a personal trainer. He knows about general fitness, as well as strength-building, stamina, agility... This summer will mark 1 year with a personal trainer. I've gone from doing 0 pull-ups in my entire life to being able to do over 12 in a row. I have gained strength, I look better, and my knees hurt a lot less.  Oh, did I not mention that I have arthritis? Pretty severe arthritis, in fact. I could barely climb stairs. Last week, I used a single leg to slowly sit and stand, 3 times each leg. There are other benefits. Being fit improves your focus, your confidence, your mental acuity, and your immune system. 

Step 4: Stop pretending I am what I'm not.

I'm not a plumber. I've never laid tile. I have no idea how to do electrical. I have no interest in learning these things, either, yet I've been youtubing it for years. No more! I hired someone to take care of my floor. I will hire someone to get rid of our ridiculous amount of dead leaves (we are literally in a forest of massive trees). I may even end up hiring a maid to help keep this house clean. These are things we can afford, and they will free up SO MUCH TIME AND STRESS. Yes, they can get expensive, but it is worth it for me.

Step 5: Get back my time.

One of the biggest problems I've had is not spending my time wisely. I roleplay online, play video games, watch tv and movies... being a gamer/geek takes a lot of time. Well I have almost stopped with video games altogether, TV and movies have been cut down drastically. I spend the time, instead, writing. To me, it is actually more entertaining and fulfilling to be able to work towards my goals and write my own story than watch someone else's story. Facebook and the like can get dangerous, so I must be cognizant of how much time I spend on social media. Online roleplaying has been cut down, but at times I feel guilty for abandoning my online friends. It will likely always be a balancing act there, one I'm bad at.

Step 6: Get my house in order.

This is the one I am currently stuck on. But because of all the other things I've done, it has been easier. I put in a system to help with dishes - and often this means paper plates. I was tired of my dishwasher never getting things cleaned, so I got a new one. We've replaced curtains we've hated since we moved in. We took off the terrible wallpaper in the office and painted it. Things are slowly getting cleaner and the house is gradually becoming "ours". But it is still a work in progress.

Step 7: Return to hobbies and prioritize them.

I am a creative person, not just in writing. I've had goals and hobbies that have fallen by the wayside. So I'm reigniting the passion. I'm trying new ones. I'm drawing, building models, playing guitar... and there are so many that I cannot do them all! So I need to prioritize, give them the time they need and give more time to those which are more important. My therapist says that this is actually quite important for my mental health, and I have to agree. Since I've picked up guitar again, I've been calmer and I get excited at the prospect of getting to play. Instead of watching TV, I'll transcribe a song by ear. I have plans for videoing and voice acting as well. It will mean improving my time management.

Step 8: Reconnect with my wife.

This is another one we are working on. Don't get me wrong - we're not in trouble or anything. We love each other and are loyal and happy. But a couple's therapist can help even strong couples, and we were hoping to get one. Time has been an issue (if you think I'm busy, I've got nothing on my wife!). We've been working to implement regular date nights. The last thing I want is to lose touch and for us to drift apart. Recent events have led me to appreciate her more. I'm hopeful that this all will lead to an even better relationship with her.

Step 9: Act like a professional.

Here's a tough one. I want to be an author with all my heart! But that means I will have to act like one. This means I need to start gaining an audience, to improve my social media presence, to spend real time looking for agents, to plan when to write, when to handle the other half of being an author, and when to handle the rest of life. I will keep doing what I can to work towards being a true professional, keep learning and finding tools to help.

Step 10: Adjust expectations.

No one wants to hear this! We all want to get what we want in all its glory without any compromises. I want to be picked up by an amazing, talented agent who gets my book into big stores and turns me into a bestseller with movie deals and the lot! And I can hope for that, but I need to be prepared for failure. How long do I look? How many agents do I try? Assuming I do not find an agent or publisher, what is my next option? Self-publishing. I am lucky that I have a friend and he is starting up an indie press, but I will still have to do almost all of my publicity and sales. It'll mean getting tables at events. I'll want artists, maybe crowdfunding or online events. In the end, I want people to read and enjoy my books, even if I have to do all the legwork myself.

None of this is professional advice and I've not researched any of this. All of this is just what I've done.
The result?

I just finished the first round of edits for my second novel. Unlike the first, which I am still looking to publish, this one was finished in about 4 months. I'm currently looking for readers, but I am STOKED that I've been able to write my story in such a timeframe! Not only that, but it has inspired me for more! 

The next step is to look for agents, but I in a few months I will be start my third book. I can't wait!

Is This How We Should Judge Society?

   by: Spencer Hixon

 "U-S-A! U-S-A! We're number 1! We're number 1!"

    It's a pretty common thing to hear nowadays. Has been for decades, and I can't exactly blame people for believing that the United States is the best country in the world. Americans have made so many advances in technology and science and have controlled the flow of culture that the world would be an indistinguishable place otherwise. From literature, movies, and fashion to feats of industry, business, and medicine (and so much more), this country has made an indelible mark on nearly every life.

    But we are not without our problems.

    The United States is indeed number 1 in terms of money (1), Olympic medals (2), and military spending (3). But we are also number 1 in incarcerations AND incarceration rates (4), mass shootings in developed countries (5), guns, guns per capita (6), and school shootings (7). We appear to be a very violent people. But believe it or not, I'm not here to talk about guns.

    We have other problems, such as the 582,000 US citizens who are homeless (8), the 37.9 million US citizens who are in poverty (9), and fact that 6.7% of US citizens use illegal drugs (10). We are the most prodigious consumers of drugs in the entire world.

    But this article isn't about those things either. Then again, it is about all of them.

    When we are trying to determine how well a country is doing, perhaps the best place to look is to its foster care.

    The foster system in the US is, to put it mildly, broken (11). It's something no one seems to want to deal with. "Adopt, don't abort" is a nice sentiment, but if you do nothing to improve the adoption system then you are contributing to a host of problems in a feeble effort to deflect blame and claim some higher moral ground. Dumping kids in foster care is a terrible thing to be doing when the system seems designed to put them out on the street.

    Few people, it seems, are aware of the facts. I would like to change that a little.

• Over 50% of the homeless in the US were once fostered
• 40-50% of kids in foster care end up homeless within 18 months of aging out
• 65% of foster kids don't have a place to stay when they age out (12)
• Almost 20% of our inmates were once fostered
• 70% of foster kids who age out are arrested before they turn 26 (13)
• Foster kids are 3 times more likely to drop out of High School. Only half finish school
• Only 3-4% of fostered kids graduate from college with a 4-year degree. (14) This is in contrast to 36% of the general population
• Foster kids are 42% more likely to die than non-fostered kids (20)

    These do not equal a working foster system. What's worse, a disproportionate number of foster kids are black (15). Children of color in the fostering system wait longer to find a home than white kids do (16). They are more often abused.(17)

    So let's follow the conveyor belt of the fostering system.

    A child, through no fault of their own, ends up in foster care. In the first year, she lives in 4 different homes. (18)The child suffers abuse at the hands of their foster families and even other foster kids, but she isn't believed and nothing is done about it. Due to ever-changing family situations, neglect, or the fact that she ends up getting pregnant as a teen, she drops out of high school. After 15 or 20 homes (19), the child is too old for the foster system and is put out on the street. With no shelter, no money, no skills, no GED, and no family, she becomes homeless. In order to survive, she steals, turns to crime, turns to drugs and is subsequently arrested. Her child is born, but taken by the state due to neglect and put into the foster system. Chances are high that she will die young.

    The foster system is self-perpetuating. It is often poorly regulated. It contributes to many other problems in society. Yet we ignore the plight of these kids. Why?

    There are under 400,000 kids in our foster system right now. The government spends only about $15 billion on them, coming out to around $15,000 per foster kid per year. That is more than the US government claims makes someone poor (21) in most states. Yet that money clearly isn't being used well.

    This is a problem we can solve. It might take time, but increasing our spending on foster care, decreasing the amount of money lost by the system, adopting federal regulations, and providing housing and education for a certain number of years after aging out would do amazing things for these kids. In an ideal world, healthcare would be free for them for life, they would have a universal basic income, and a college education wouldn't cost them a dime. We obviously do not live in an ideal world.

    By this rubric, how we are handling our kids in foster care, the US is far from number 1. Yet, if we bothered to care and tried to solve this problem, it would improve the lives of every citizen and make this country stronger and better. We're the USA. We can do this.

    The catch is, do we want to?