Welcome to Life

I know only a handful of people will read this (unless I somehow become extremely lucky and gain fame and notoriety that would put Beyonce to shame). I know I have a lot of work ahead of me if I’m going to start gaining a readership. I once had a good 80 or so people reading this thing you know!

But I’m going to do it.

It’s scary. I remember hearing someone say “you aren’t really afraid of failing, you’re afraid of succeeding.” Well, no, I’m definitely afraid of failing. I’m afraid that I’m either a terrible writer whose beta readers, friends, and family have all been lying to, or that I will become just another story of an amazing author kept down by his inability to market himself. But in a sense I am also afraid of succeeding.

I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to marketing and self-promotion. I used to be internet savvy, back when Numa Numa was still a thing. Not so much any longer. I’m using a few guideposts while looking for more. But I know I have my work cut out for me. I know it will be a ton of work that I’m unfamiliar with and might not be good at if I am going to succeed. And if I succeed, what will that do to the family dynamic? Our schedules will become complicated.

As an example, I am also one of the co-hosts of the Board Game Rundown on youtube and we’ve earned over 3.2k subscribers as of this writing. We’re talking about turning this gig into a paying job with hours and everything… which will mean writing and marketing and publishing and selling will all have to happen on off hours.

If I am successful, life will get complicated.

But I think it’s time for that. I’m 42, never had a real career, always had a hard time holding on to jobs (apparently have some self-respect is not something employers actually want), and have been spinning my wheels for 10 years. It is time I got my professional life started. I might be a late bloomer, but by God I’m going to bloom.