They Can't All Be Good

 Had my worst book-selling event yet.

First of all, I find it remarkable how many people don't realize that the person sitting there selling a single author's books is, in fact, the author themself. 

I had a lot of interest but almost no bites. I was selling next to an author with a lot more books, who's been doing it a lot longer, and who has perfected the art of the sale. Oh, and is much more outgoing. It's not that I'm not outgoing, but I have my limits.

A few notable moments:

• Woman looks at the book, smiles, says, "This is really interesting, right up my alley. I'll definitely be back but my husband has the money." She goes over to the other author. Husband shows up. She leaves the other author with a sack full of books, then avoids eye contact as she walks past me.
• A woman was walking by and started looking at the other author's books, who isn't there. I am there and I offer my book, but she puts up her hand and say, "I don't think so."
• A young woman looked super interested in both books, is standing there reading the back of one, then all of a sudden puts it down, looks me square in the eyes, and says, "No." Then leaves.

Ouch.

Now, don't get me wrong. I like my colleague and he did absolutely nothing wrong. But I realized that people were getting "saturated". In a nutshell, if a con-goer spends too much time and/or money in one location, the neighboring locations are dead to them; they must go elsewhere to feel like they are getting the "con experience".

So, lesson learned. I will not be returning to that event. The authors who were doing a lot better than me were still having trouble making any sales. I will be focusing on different events.

Unfortunately, though I asked for a full table this year at NekoCon, they put me on a half table again. so here's hoping that isn't going to be a problem.

I will be attending a new one, a Ren Fair I haven't been to this coming weekend. I'm nervous but I'll do my best.
That said, I got some good advice from another author last weekend. I need to diversify a bit. Having a consumable product to sell will bring people back to the table, and I can make a game that isn't super-play-tested; it's just my table selling it! So once I get a couple more books out, I will be putting some effort into exapnding.

Here's hoping.

An Open Letter to all True Christian Patriots

 Well, we've done it, brothers and sisters.

As True Christian Patriots, our job has been, as we recite in The Lord's Prayer every Sunday, to make Earth as it is in Heaven. And I can think of nothing more Heavenly than the nation we are creating.

I can just imagine it now, when I pass through the Pearly Gates into that White Heaven, the roves of armor-clad angels pulling helpless people out of their cloud-like homes, away from their family members, regardless of their age, putting them all on winged busses and sending them all to Hell, all because they dared be Not White. Oh, I know a vast majority of them did what God said to do and earned their way properly into Heaven, but that's an inconvenient fact that I choose to ignore. How dare they live in Heaven, minding their own business. I'd know they're doing it JUST to upset me.

Granted, Jesus Himself told us to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's one of the two Golden Commandments, upon which all other commandments are hung. I don't know about you, but I would be hard pressed to say I would want to be treated the way ICE treats immigrants, protesters, libtards, and the random passers-by. I would say that they all deserve it, but there's no need for such platitudes! Why? Because the OTHER Golden Commandment is to love God above all else. And as a White male middle-aged protestant True American Christian Patriot, I believe that our White God and White Jesus would want nothing less than to get rid of all these people from our White nation. Surely that's loving God above all else? How do I know? Because our infallible leader in the White House says it is!

As a True White Male Middle-Aged Protestant American Christian Patriot, I'm proud that the BEST COUNTRY ON EARTH is going to expand and bring Greenland into our fold, whether they like it or not. We need that island for our national security, just like they need us for our Americanism. It's just a bonus that they also have a ton of valuable Rare Earth elements that would make us give up some of our dependence on China, dependence we created because China stole OUR money before we made it. If I was young enough, I would gladly enlist so I could take this land which by all rights is ours, even if it means killing people for it. I mean, Denmark KNEW it was our land when they sent the first White Europeans there 55 years before the United States became a nation. Plus, it's SUCH A HUGE ISLAND! Look at it on the map! And with a name like that, it must be lush and green! A White paradise on Earth!

I fully expect any day now that Heaven will forcefully annex Purgatory. Limbo, you're next.

I'm afraid I must cut this letter short, my True White Male Middle-Aged Protestant Imperialist Trump-Fearing American Christian Patriots. I must decide how many meals my family will need to skip this week in order to afford living in this 1,500 square foot apartment. It's a GOOD THING our very GOOD and SMART and HUMBLE and CHRISTIAN and STRONG and HANDSOME White President stopped all that runaway inflation.

-A Truly Poor White Male Middle-Aged Protestant Imperialist Trump-Fearing American Christian Patriot

What to do, what to do?

Normally at night, I know exactly what I want to do.

I usually want to write, even if I spend all day writing.

Sometimes I want to roleplay.

Sometimes I want to play a game.

Rarely, I want to watch something. This one is new. In the past, the guilt of not having finished my own book made me want to see other people's stories less and less. Now I'm starting to get interested, but I'm still discerning. More and more, I'm interested in anime, probably because I'm more likely to find fresh ideas there.

But since last night, I can't figure it out. Since reading about a senseless murder, one that could have been anyone, I've been unable to focus my mind.

I keep thinking about what would happen if that had been my wife. I keep worrying about what could happen to my trans son, who is just trying to be himself and not bother anyone.

Right now, I don't think I can write at night. But i have to do something to distract myself.

A Treatise on Free Actors

Yeah, warning, "politics" ahead. I was told to avoid politics, but the things that are now sorted under that term are things that should very much not be associated with politics.

Free Thinking is a phrase that gets thrown around enough that it is in danger of losing any appreciable meaning. This is a phenomenon called "semantic satiation." There are a lot of words that suffer from this, and, as a writer, I try keep on top of things like that. I tend to avoid superfluous words and phrases, but I seriously doubt anyone can avoid them all. Such phrases are part of the human experience.

Unfortunately, it's not always as benign as this. "Socialism", "Capitalism," "Fascism," "Nazi," and "Freedom of Speech" are examples of terms that have been overused and misused to the point of them losing any real meaning for most people. But in these instances, it's not an accident. There are those who know that saturating the zeitgeist with these terms waters them down, and that's mostly because they're either terms that describe the people who don't like them or terms that threaten their agendas. 

"Free Thinking" is getting there, but it's not there yet. It's hand-in-hand with "Freedom of Speech." There is a difference. Freedom of Speech refers to government censorship, but by misusing and overusing it, people now evoke it whenever anyone disagrees with them or whenever someone says something that is utterly awful and doesn't want to suffer any consequences of their words.

I've noticed people using phrases like, "You're just afraid of free thinkers," to defend their terrible ideas and attack university education. They use words like "nonconformist", "maverick", "individualist", and "iconoclast." The problem is that none of them are, indeed, free thinkers.

Most of the time, "free thinking" refers to religious situations, but it can also apply to political ones. It's supposed to define people who refuse to accept socially accepted terms, boundaries, and ideas. They certainly understand them, but instead of letting themselves be defined by a certain term ("I identify as a democrat, therefore I must be pro-choice"), they use these terms to help describe who they really are, and usually this means they don't fit perfectly into any specific group of people. Right now, I've seen more and more people use this word and words like it to defend their conspiracy nonsense or justify doing terrible things.

Free thinking is fine and all. I think everyone should practice it; I'm concerned that very few people actually are. But it is secondary to what I feel is a problem that is plaguing this country, and in fact, the world.

What happens when you turn thoughts into actions?

Such "free actors" can change the world. They become inventors, innovators, writers, artists, activists. But they also can become despots, behind-the-scenes manipulators.

Why am I bringing any of this up?

Because someone with a conscience, a working mind, who does not limit themselves by certain concepts, and who is willing to act on their morals, is rare and is needed now more than ever.

I've come to this conclusion by watching what's happening in Venezuela, Israel, Russia, and the USA. Some manipulative, narcissistic monster is given power and starts giving orders, orders which are objectively evil and frequently illegal. And the result? People do it. 

I thought that, when the military was sent as a police force against its own people based on an obvious and provable lie, the military would refuse this order. It's a clearly illegal order and members of our military are required to disobey illegal orders. But it happened.

I thought that, when hired to demolish part of the White House, no contractor would touch the job until it was handed down to them by congress. It takes seconds of research to find that the president does not own the White House and has no say in such projects. But contractors were all too happy to demolish a part of our history, no questions asked.

Trump has been ordering and doing things that still make me sick to my stomach and surprise me in their audacity and wickedness. And yet, no one is stopping him. 

In an ideal world, there would be enough free actors around that they would, at the very least, provide substantial roadblocks to things like this. I understand that dictators fill their government with cronies and yes men who enable this shit, but at some point down the line, it comes to normal people to do these things. Considering how unpopular the current administration is, you'd think there would be pushback, that ordinary people would realize how much they outnumber these sycophants and monsters. 

This is OUR government, OUR people, OUR country. A random announcement or tweet should not be enough for us to surrender a little bit more of it to a felonious child rapist. We need more people willing to act in defiance of this burgeoning fascist state.