Juggling

 I've actually been able to get things done recently, but this leaves me wondering... when am I going to slip up?

I'm juggling so many things, what if I forget something or an emergency crops up (as they are wont to do)? Will I be able to fix things and keep juggling, or will everything come crashing down?

At the moment, I am still figuring out some sort of schedule. I still have plans for things, so many things, but that's just adding more balls in the air for me to juggle. If I do that, I will need a good schedule. With summer coming on and my kids about to get out of school, my schedule is going to have to change. How will this alter things for me?

There are so many out there doing this on their own. I, however, am lucky that my wife is on my team. She understands and helps me treat this as my job. If she wasn't in my corner, my chances of being a successful writer would be dead in the water.

Today I went through a bunch of old things I'd written... from as young as the age of 4. It's very clear that writing was always something I was interested in and decent at. I am struck at how much they made me write in school compared to how much they make my kids write. But, no, I'm not going to save these things. There's not going to be some future researcher looking for my first writings - I have no delusions that I will ever be that famous or good. Yes, I want to have this story read by as many people as possible, enjoyed by them all, but fame and fortune are not my goal and never have been. Still, I need to be fairly compensated for this work. It's a career, not a hobby.

Impatient

 Am I impatient?

Yes.  Yes I am.

We all are, aren't we? We all want that instant gratification that modern technology promises, that we've all grown accustomed to. But while looking for a literary agent, instant gratification is just not happening.

All that I've learned says that I need to take the time to gain exposure in the community.

I've won Daily Deviation from DeviantArt 3 times, but I doubt agents care too much about that.

I used to write flashfic every Friday, but it means nothing if it's not published in a magazine.

I disliked Twitter before it was purchased on a whim and run to the ground by a puerile, spoiled manchild. Now I hate it. I hate that it's gradually turning into an extremist echo-chamber. I hate that everyone in the industry uses it so much.

I tried to be involved locally, but COVID shot that down.

The Board Game Rundown is growing and I love it, I'm excited for it. But it's not exactly a writing forum. I've also been absent from the discord. It's not that I'm not interested, I just have so much to do and don't know what to say.

So my dilemma is, do I start getting myself out there now while I look for agents, or do I wait to look for agents until I've gained some exposure?

I am impatient. So I will attempt the former. But I'm going into this guns blazing. Twitter, yes. Short stories for magazines, yes. Articles for BGR, yes. I might even check out Goodreads. And this blog? I used to have a readership, now I must build it from the ground up all over again. At one point I was writing a story one chapter at a time here. I think I might start that up again.  Then there is HixonArt. My twin brother is a rather good digital animator, but he is never satisfied with the stories he comes up with. He has asked me to write some for him, and we've already started. We are both happy with what we've come up with, and I cannot wait to see it transition into reality!

The most likely reason I feel impatient, other than the fact that it's taken so long to get things in order, is that I am close. Those last 100 yards to the finish line can feel like a mile.

Hitting My Stride

 

I'm terrible at making good posts. I don't use pictures because I don't feel I should be bothered. I rarely edit them. And so far, posting has been few and far between as it is.

It's been like that for A LOT of things in my life.

There was a point where my basement was torn up and basically unusable, I'm forced to deal with a child with encopresis (look it up) which included a hospital visit, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I was spending time going to my sister's house hundreds of miles away to prepare a house for my mother who will be *very* ungrateful for all the work we've done, I was busy with the freemasons, the house was a disaster...   The list of things goes on and on and on. Truly, I could continue for paragraphs about how insane things have been. This is just scratching the surface.

A lot of that was due to COVID. It really messed things up, physically, psychologically, etc.

So I decided enough was enough. I was 40! And I've accomplished none of my goals!

At some point in the last 2 years, I became fed up with incompetence. I decided I would no longer coddle those who did an unsatisfactory job. This, however, included myself! Nay, it was mostly about myself. So I started taking steps to improve my life.

Step 1: Get my ADHD under control. 

I've had it since I was a kid, but I'd never properly educated myself about it. So I did. It was eye-opening to finally connect certain behaviors and understand what was really going on. If you want to know more, check out my article about it on the Game Talk Network. One of the things I learned, though, is that ADHD is highly treatable, and it had been ages since I took medicine for it. So I went to my doctor and we tried out a few until we found a medicine and dose that works for me.

Step 2: Get my depression under control. 

While dealing with ADHD, my doctor realized I was also suffering from depression, and had been for quite a while. This did involve medicine as well, but it also involved finding a therapist. The first one was not a good fit for me. We got into political arguments and she offered no insight or help. The second, though, is a very good fit and I like her a lot. It helps to have her break things down, even just to have someone to talk to about things.

Step 3: Get in shape.

I've always been an active person, but my relationship with gyms has been on again, off again. Part of the problem is that I have NO IDEA what I am doing at the gym. This is where not putting up with incompetence comes into play. I hired a personal trainer. He knows about general fitness, as well as strength-building, stamina, agility... This summer will mark 1 year with a personal trainer. I've gone from doing 0 pull-ups in my entire life to being able to do over 12 in a row. I have gained strength, I look better, and my knees hurt a lot less.  Oh, did I not mention that I have arthritis? Pretty severe arthritis, in fact. I could barely climb stairs. Last week, I used a single leg to slowly sit and stand, 3 times each leg. There are other benefits. Being fit improves your focus, your confidence, your mental acuity, and your immune system. 

Step 4: Stop pretending I am what I'm not.

I'm not a plumber. I've never laid tile. I have no idea how to do electrical. I have no interest in learning these things, either, yet I've been youtubing it for years. No more! I hired someone to take care of my floor. I will hire someone to get rid of our ridiculous amount of dead leaves (we are literally in a forest of massive trees). I may even end up hiring a maid to help keep this house clean. These are things we can afford, and they will free up SO MUCH TIME AND STRESS. Yes, they can get expensive, but it is worth it for me.

Step 5: Get back my time.

One of the biggest problems I've had is not spending my time wisely. I roleplay online, play video games, watch tv and movies... being a gamer/geek takes a lot of time. Well I have almost stopped with video games altogether, TV and movies have been cut down drastically. I spend the time, instead, writing. To me, it is actually more entertaining and fulfilling to be able to work towards my goals and write my own story than watch someone else's story. Facebook and the like can get dangerous, so I must be cognizant of how much time I spend on social media. Online roleplaying has been cut down, but at times I feel guilty for abandoning my online friends. It will likely always be a balancing act there, one I'm bad at.

Step 6: Get my house in order.

This is the one I am currently stuck on. But because of all the other things I've done, it has been easier. I put in a system to help with dishes - and often this means paper plates. I was tired of my dishwasher never getting things cleaned, so I got a new one. We've replaced curtains we've hated since we moved in. We took off the terrible wallpaper in the office and painted it. Things are slowly getting cleaner and the house is gradually becoming "ours". But it is still a work in progress.

Step 7: Return to hobbies and prioritize them.

I am a creative person, not just in writing. I've had goals and hobbies that have fallen by the wayside. So I'm reigniting the passion. I'm trying new ones. I'm drawing, building models, playing guitar... and there are so many that I cannot do them all! So I need to prioritize, give them the time they need and give more time to those which are more important. My therapist says that this is actually quite important for my mental health, and I have to agree. Since I've picked up guitar again, I've been calmer and I get excited at the prospect of getting to play. Instead of watching TV, I'll transcribe a song by ear. I have plans for videoing and voice acting as well. It will mean improving my time management.

Step 8: Reconnect with my wife.

This is another one we are working on. Don't get me wrong - we're not in trouble or anything. We love each other and are loyal and happy. But a couple's therapist can help even strong couples, and we were hoping to get one. Time has been an issue (if you think I'm busy, I've got nothing on my wife!). We've been working to implement regular date nights. The last thing I want is to lose touch and for us to drift apart. Recent events have led me to appreciate her more. I'm hopeful that this all will lead to an even better relationship with her.

Step 9: Act like a professional.

Here's a tough one. I want to be an author with all my heart! But that means I will have to act like one. This means I need to start gaining an audience, to improve my social media presence, to spend real time looking for agents, to plan when to write, when to handle the other half of being an author, and when to handle the rest of life. I will keep doing what I can to work towards being a true professional, keep learning and finding tools to help.

Step 10: Adjust expectations.

No one wants to hear this! We all want to get what we want in all its glory without any compromises. I want to be picked up by an amazing, talented agent who gets my book into big stores and turns me into a bestseller with movie deals and the lot! And I can hope for that, but I need to be prepared for failure. How long do I look? How many agents do I try? Assuming I do not find an agent or publisher, what is my next option? Self-publishing. I am lucky that I have a friend and he is starting up an indie press, but I will still have to do almost all of my publicity and sales. It'll mean getting tables at events. I'll want artists, maybe crowdfunding or online events. In the end, I want people to read and enjoy my books, even if I have to do all the legwork myself.

None of this is professional advice and I've not researched any of this. All of this is just what I've done.
The result?

I just finished the first round of edits for my second novel. Unlike the first, which I am still looking to publish, this one was finished in about 4 months. I'm currently looking for readers, but I am STOKED that I've been able to write my story in such a timeframe! Not only that, but it has inspired me for more! 

The next step is to look for agents, but I in a few months I will be start my third book. I can't wait!

Is This How We Should Judge Society?

   by: Spencer Hixon

 "U-S-A! U-S-A! We're number 1! We're number 1!"

    It's a pretty common thing to hear nowadays. Has been for decades, and I can't exactly blame people for believing that the United States is the best country in the world. Americans have made so many advances in technology and science and have controlled the flow of culture that the world would be an indistinguishable place otherwise. From literature, movies, and fashion to feats of industry, business, and medicine (and so much more), this country has made an indelible mark on nearly every life.

    But we are not without our problems.

    The United States is indeed number 1 in terms of money (1), Olympic medals (2), and military spending (3). But we are also number 1 in incarcerations AND incarceration rates (4), mass shootings in developed countries (5), guns, guns per capita (6), and school shootings (7). We appear to be a very violent people. But believe it or not, I'm not here to talk about guns.

    We have other problems, such as the 582,000 US citizens who are homeless (8), the 37.9 million US citizens who are in poverty (9), and fact that 6.7% of US citizens use illegal drugs (10). We are the most prodigious consumers of drugs in the entire world.

    But this article isn't about those things either. Then again, it is about all of them.

    When we are trying to determine how well a country is doing, perhaps the best place to look is to its foster care.

    The foster system in the US is, to put it mildly, broken (11). It's something no one seems to want to deal with. "Adopt, don't abort" is a nice sentiment, but if you do nothing to improve the adoption system then you are contributing to a host of problems in a feeble effort to deflect blame and claim some higher moral ground. Dumping kids in foster care is a terrible thing to be doing when the system seems designed to put them out on the street.

    Few people, it seems, are aware of the facts. I would like to change that a little.

• Over 50% of the homeless in the US were once fostered
• 40-50% of kids in foster care end up homeless within 18 months of aging out
• 65% of foster kids don't have a place to stay when they age out (12)
• Almost 20% of our inmates were once fostered
• 70% of foster kids who age out are arrested before they turn 26 (13)
• Foster kids are 3 times more likely to drop out of High School. Only half finish school
• Only 3-4% of fostered kids graduate from college with a 4-year degree. (14) This is in contrast to 36% of the general population
• Foster kids are 42% more likely to die than non-fostered kids (20)

    These do not equal a working foster system. What's worse, a disproportionate number of foster kids are black (15). Children of color in the fostering system wait longer to find a home than white kids do (16). They are more often abused.(17)

    So let's follow the conveyor belt of the fostering system.

    A child, through no fault of their own, ends up in foster care. In the first year, she lives in 4 different homes. (18)The child suffers abuse at the hands of their foster families and even other foster kids, but she isn't believed and nothing is done about it. Due to ever-changing family situations, neglect, or the fact that she ends up getting pregnant as a teen, she drops out of high school. After 15 or 20 homes (19), the child is too old for the foster system and is put out on the street. With no shelter, no money, no skills, no GED, and no family, she becomes homeless. In order to survive, she steals, turns to crime, turns to drugs and is subsequently arrested. Her child is born, but taken by the state due to neglect and put into the foster system. Chances are high that she will die young.

    The foster system is self-perpetuating. It is often poorly regulated. It contributes to many other problems in society. Yet we ignore the plight of these kids. Why?

    There are under 400,000 kids in our foster system right now. The government spends only about $15 billion on them, coming out to around $15,000 per foster kid per year. That is more than the US government claims makes someone poor (21) in most states. Yet that money clearly isn't being used well.

    This is a problem we can solve. It might take time, but increasing our spending on foster care, decreasing the amount of money lost by the system, adopting federal regulations, and providing housing and education for a certain number of years after aging out would do amazing things for these kids. In an ideal world, healthcare would be free for them for life, they would have a universal basic income, and a college education wouldn't cost them a dime. We obviously do not live in an ideal world.

    By this rubric, how we are handling our kids in foster care, the US is far from number 1. Yet, if we bothered to care and tried to solve this problem, it would improve the lives of every citizen and make this country stronger and better. We're the USA. We can do this.

    The catch is, do we want to?

I HAVE RETURNED and why?

 Yet again I am coming back to you, oh reader and a half, from a long sabbatical.

Yes, I still live.

Allow me to break down my life into easily-digested pieces for you.

Since COVID-19 first closed the world down in March of 2020, my mind has gone haywire. You wouldn't necessarily know it if you just saw me or talked to me; it was in my coping mechanisms.

I have ADHD, a mild-to-moderate case of it. I also have been suffering from depression for quite some time. It is, indeed, rather common for the second to be present with the first. If you have these conditions, you may understand what I've been going through. If not, I will try to explain.

ADHD is not just hyperactivity and SQUIRREL!!  all the time. It has been described as an "executive function" disorder. Executive functioning is that little part of your brain that in most people takes files from your mental "things that need to get done" folder and moves it over into "processing." It is easier to explain its role by showing what happens when you don't have it.

I know *exactly* what to do in order to fix the door handle that broke. It's super-easy. I have the parts. The instructions are right there. It will take me about 5 minutes, using 2 screws that are already provided in the kit.  But I just. Don't. Do it.  I'm not LAZY. I'm not DISTRACTED. It is just much harder for me to get the impetus that gets me started on it. If someone else tells me to do it, puts me on a deadline, watches me, then I have no problem doing it. In that case, the other person is acting as my executive function. If I make a habit out of something, the habit itself can act as an impetus. Schedules and deadlines are great for this, too.
So you can understand, perhaps, what it might be like to have what little executive function I have that actually works shift from "let's get this written" to "OH MY GOD I NEED TO GO TO THE STORE! WHAT IF I RUN OUT OF MILK? DO WE HAVE ENOUGH CLEAN MASKS? THE SCHOOLS AREN'T MANDATING MASKS, I HAVE TO FIND A NEW SCHOOL FOR MY KIDS WITHIN 2 WEEKS!*" Obviously, the more pressing matters take precedence, and they were constant.

But that's only HALF of the issue. ADHD has also been described as a dopamine disorder. Dopamine is a pretty important chemical. Until recently they thought it was the "pleasure" chemical, but new research suggests it has more to do with motivational salience. (sounds an awful lot like executive function) When you do pleasurable things, your brain produces dopamine which triggers the "reward" centers of the brain. Now I'm not an expert on this, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. My understanding is that the ADHD brain doesn't "hold onto" dopamine very well. It essentially gets addicted to it and is constantly seeking it out. For each person, that dopamine rush comes from different things, but it is quite common for video games to provide it, what with their instant gratification and incremental reward systems. Such is my case.

In order to calm my frazzled brain and get that dopamine hit, I turned to comforting things and, essentially, games. But as things calmed down (mostly late 2021/early 2022), I couldn't switch back. I couldn't redirect that motivational salience to what I wanted. This only made me more depressed for many reasons, and depression has very similar effect on the mind. It robs you of motivation. Without motivation, it is much harder to be social, to take care of yourself, to focus. Enjoyment vanishes. Anger, sadness, and irritability increase. You start feeling self-loathing, going through all the things in your life that went wrong or hurt you, and if you don't do something about this, it feeds into itself. Most people with depression hide it fairly well, at least from others. 

I don't know if I'm special or broken or just unaware of things, but I just could NOT rewire things. I will not go into details, but everything I tried to regain that motivation ended up failing or backfiring (remind me to complain profusely about online freelance writing sites). I felt like a complete failure, which only made me want to turn to games more because, at least there, I was somewhat successful. I grew jealous of my brother and his absolutely astounding job/workplace, but he then told me *he* was jealous that I had kids and he didn't. It made me think a lot about what we are taught to value in society, what I valued, and how I determined my own worth.

It wasn't too long after that that I sought help. With my doctor's assistance, I was able to get medicine to treat my depression (though it took months of trial and error on prescription and dosage before I finally felt it working). Now I have medicine to help with my ADHD (again, took months before I found what actually worked). A friend was in a car accident and walked away nearly unharmed because (according to her doctor) she had built up her muscles through 2 years of working out at a gym (and the doc said she could have had serious injuries otherwise). She even told me her arthritis was better because of it. So I got a personal trainer as well.  I've not "taken care of myself" like this since before college.

I believe this is actually working. Now, I have a therapist I go to twice a month, BUT I do not believe she is a good fit for me (I just end up more depressed after a session with her) so I will be looking for a new one.  Other than that, I am feeling better and focusing on work. Perhaps a little too much, but it's far better than the alternative!

---------------------------

The last key to this puzzle is how I write.

- I've always been a night-owl but with me now having to get up in the morning to take kids to school, I can't stay up as late and still be able to, you know, think. So I've had to adjust the times I use to write.

- For me, writing in complete silence is actually counter-productive. The silence lets that little part of my brain searching for dopamine distract the rest of my brain until I get absolutely nothing done. Because of this, I would go out to write in restaurants, coffee shops, libraries, anywhere where there was a moderate level of background noise to really keep that small part of my brain occupied.  But COVID shut those places down or just added anxiety to the mix if I went there. I turned to soundtracks to play in the background.  My favorite ones are Gladiator, pretty much any of the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtracks, Dune (methinks Hans Zimmer is good all around), and Koyaanisqatsi.  But I may have found something that works EVEN BETTER (for me at least).
There are quite a few ambiance tracks available on youtube. They're free, they're usually very long (10 hours), and there is enough variety that I can change it up once in a while. The ones that work best for me usually involve thunder storms and fireplaces. I was surprised just how well these worked to focus my mind. Unlike soundtracks, there's no catchy part to take my attention and no need to change every hour. Unlike actually being in a restaurant/whathaveyou, there aren't people or waiters or bells or other things that demand my attention. 

Now if you are one of my online friends and noticed I've been absent, I apologize.  I've been so focused on writing that I haven't gamed or roleplayed or chatted or anything like that. I've had incredible inspirations that I believe strengthen my novel considerably, so I've been utterly STOKED to implement them. And, of course, as I'm going through the thing, I fall in love with my own characters and story all over again.  It's emotionally and physically draining (and even painful) to have to put my favorite characters through Hell (in case of my novel, both literally and figuratively), so it only motivates me to get them back out of those situations.  

Next step? Go look for agents and publishers once more.  Write the sequel (much more developed now). Write one of the 3 other stories I've been working on in my mind.  Wish me luck.

*My concern over this turned out to be quite merited. My daughter's school had two 5th grade teachers, and she was in 5th grade. Within the first week of returning to school, one of those teachers contracted COVID from a student. She died of COVID 3 weeks later. She was 30. Take this thing seriously. Get vaccinate, get boosted, listen to the doctors and WHO and the CDC, wear masks, and respect others' decisions.

Wild West Dreamin'

So for the... third? time I've had an episode of sleep paralysis.
The first time was a dream where a demon threatened to kill my daughter and then when I woke up, he was still there in my room.  Then he left to go kill her and it was only after he left that I was able to move.
The second time was also a case of waking dreams; I can't tell you how many times I "woke" up in that dream, but in the last one I ended up staring at a ghost for several minutes until I realized it was actually a curtain and my eyes were open for real.
The third was not quite as scary but for some reason I still didn't get very good sleep.

Last night I dreamed I was still living in Virginia, and my wife and brother and I were in my parents' house.  Everything was going fine until, for some reason, I looked outside and noticed that there was a band of wild west villains hunting house to house.
And at this point my brain did weird things.  I forgot that I had kids, or moved away from Virginia, or had my own house. It was like those memories were behind some sort of wall I couldn't breach.  I suddenly knew that this was Billy the Kid, and that he was after *me* because he thought that grandpa stole his gold, only that this was a misunderstanding and we were innocent.
We had to keep quiet, stay hidden.  This easily would have turned into a nightmare had I stayed asleep.
Instead, as we were hiding, we pulled down the blinds as Billy the Kid came up to them.  I realized I couldn't look away from the blinds to make sure my wife was ok.  I was transfixed.  And then that wall started to vanish.  I realized my eyes were open as I was staring at actual blinds... but at first I couldn't figure out where in the world I was.  It took a good minute before I was able to move and that wall finally vanished. I was staring at the blinds in my room the whole time.

I'm curious as to why I keep having these "waking nightmares" and sleep paralysis.  Thankfully they are rare.

Dear Bagger

As a person who cares about the environment, I'd like to make an open letter to every supermarket bagger out there.

But before I get to that, I would like to point out that in recent years, when you are getting groceries, they've just started assuming you want plastic.  Paper is still available and it is better for the environment (at least, if you live in an area with methane collectors on its landfills, which is in an increasing number of areas).  Paper bags also don't break as easily, can be reused, and hold more groceries. Many have handles now.  They're more sanitary than reusable cloth bags, too.  (I'm not saying don't use cloth bags - I do - just know the danger.  I personally like using collapsible crates.)


Now onto the letter.

Dear bagger,

Why did you put my grapes, which are in a plastic bag with a handle, alone in another plastic bag with a handle?  Seriously, I could have carried the bag of grapes.  Are you afraid someone is going to see me leaving the store with grapes and get terrible ideas of what I am going to do with those things?

When I told you not to use the bag you just put a single box of cake mix into because I wanted to carry it, why did you take the box out and then crumple up and throw away the bag?  Has it been sullied?

Do I want my single gallon of milk in a bag?  No.  I never want it in a bag.  It has a handle and it's pretty obvious I'll be wheeling the entire cart of groceries to the car, so it's not like my hand will get cold in the 10 seconds I'll be touching the thing.

In what world will a 3 lb. bag of apples be so heavy that you must double bag it? Those things can carry 17 pounds before they start to break.  So please, a bag of flour?  One bag is enough.

In short, plastic bags, which often can't be recycled, should be used a bit more sparingly.

Please.

Green Screen

Disclaimer - I am not a scientist.  I am a researcher.  And all research is susceptible to errors.  If I have made a statement in error, leave a comment and cite a source and I will gladly correct myself.  I will not, however, debate.

If you've ever been both concerned about health and concerned about getting sunburns, you've discovered that there are pretty much no healthy sunscreens on the market.

The problem starts with the very nature of sunscreen.  To be effective, it has to cover your skin and not come off immediately.  So, sunscreens typically include "penetration enhancers" to help them absorb into the skin, but this also means that the other ingredients tend to penetrate into parts of the body (like the blood stream or breast milk) where they weren't meant to be. Methylisothiazolinone (say that five times fast) is an allergen that was banned in Europe because it's unsafe, yet it is still allowed, and frequently-used, in the US. Thanks, FDA. 
The most common sunscreens use chemical filters that imitate hormones.  In 2018, 65% of non-mineral sunscreens out there used oxybenzone, an estrogen that has anti-androgenic effects.  It can also affect birth weights and gestational periods.  The CDC has found oxybenzone in 96% of the population of the United States (though, to be fair, it is used in cosmetics as well).  In fact, most of the ingredients in sunscreen have not even been evaluated, thanks to being grandfathered in by the FDA in the 1970s.  In many cases, the FDA simply lets industries police themselves - a foolish stance.  In 2015, the Danish EPA found that 16 out of the 19 ingredients most commonly used in sunscreen have no information on their safety or possible carcinogenic effects.
That's right, carcinogenic.
Imagine putting something on that causes cancer in order to prevent cancer.  We may very well be doing just that.  If we don't have research on something, why are we smearing it on our skin?
Other ingredients can inhibit hormones.  Octinoxate, another common ingredient, lowers sperm counts, causes sperm quality to drop, and delays puberty.  In fact, several ingredients found in sunscreen have the same results.


It is also hard to find sunscreens that are environmentally-friendly. "Green" sunscreens are few and far-between.

Sunscreen use has been on the rise, meaning more of it is being washed off into waterways and oceans. But the chemicals found in sunscreens don't disappear once it washes off your skin.  A 2019 study found oxybenzone, octinoxate, and many other UV filters can be seen in almost every water source we have, and they aren't things treatment plants are designed to (or able to) filter.  Oxybenzone has been identified as a major coral reef bleaching agent.  Fish world-wide have been found with elevated levels of these chemicals inside of them, which means they are now a part of the food chain. No wonder 96% of the population has been exposed to oxybenzone.  Even organic sunscreens have negative impacts on the environment.

So what options are there that are environmentally friendly AND health-conscious?

Non-mineral sunscreens, which typically use either zinc oxide or titanium dioxide, don't have as much impact on our health, particularly zinc oxide, which - although it is insoluble in water - is safe to eat.  Of course, safe for humans does not mean safe for everything.  Titanium dioxide, on the other hand, does not absorb into the skin, but can still be harmful.  It has not been studied well, but we do know that when inhaled, it is classified as "possibly carcinogenic to humans."  Titanium dioxide dust is common in its manufacturing process, and sunscreens use "nano-particles" of it, which are more dangerous.  All in all, it requires further study (something you'd think we'd do before making it ubiquitous).  And you have to be careful looking at the ingredients; titanium dioxide is usually used in tandem with oxybenzone and octinoxate, so simply seeing it as an ingredient doesn't make it safe.


But there *are* options out there, things that we are just now starting to realize are viable alternatives.
Nature makes sunscreen.

Hippos have been known to "sweat blood," while in reality they secrete two compounds, hipposudoric acid and norhipposudoric acid which act as sunscreen and antimicrobial agent for the hippo.  They're just red and orange, making it look like the hippo is reenacting the Passion of Christ.  This natural sunscreen, though unstable, has been successfully synthesized in labs... back in 2006.  But, in my research, I have been unable to find any commercially-available sunscreen that uses either of those chemicals.

Hippos aren't the only ones.  Mushroom Coral in the Great Barrier Reef makes its own sunscreen as well.  In 2011, King's College in London found that certain algae make a chemical that the coral turns into sunscreen, based on observations made by the Australian Institute of Marine Science (AIMS).  AIMS has worked for years researching this, and got together with The Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO - a scientific and independent agent of the Australian government) to develop sunscreen using this chemical.  However, as far as I can tell it is only available in Australia.

Many beetles produce a special wax that protect them from sun and heat, particularly Darkling Beetles, which live in the Namibian Desert, but it is found in North American beetles as well.  However, again, we don't seem to have any of this on the market.

Plants are always exposed to sunlight and yet show very little damage from it.  In fact, plants are highly resilient to any form of radiation.  How is this?  They have photoreceptors called UVR8 that activate when there is too much sunlight and cause the plant to produce enzymes - enzymes which not only protect it from UV-B damage, but also repair damage.  This is found in almost every plant, and yet we are only discovering all this since the turn of the century.  I'm sure that with some research, we can isolate these enzymes and learn to emulate them, synthesize them, produce them.

Finally, fish, birds, reptiles, and other animals produce a substance known as gadusol which protects them from sunburn - usually.  Gadusol can be synthesized, and in fact Gadusol Labs is a start-up company doing just that.  It is dedicated to making sunscreens that are environmentally-friendly, sustainable, and non-hazardous using gadusol.  They've only been around for a couple of years, though.

So there is hope.  My only question is, why has it taken us THIS long to realize that nature has better solutions for us?

The Mailbox

Allow me, dear friends, to paint a drama that unfolded over the course of many years.  It started as a tale of vengeance, but ended as a tale of perseverance and humanity.  Perhaps with a bit of comedy.
And the entirety of this drama is played out on my weekly drive to church.  I can only imagine the true story behind what was observed.  So, of course, as a writer, I did just that.  But first, you, dear reader, should see what we saw.

Five years ago, when we moved in, we found a house like all the others on its block but with one change.  Its mailbox was not on a normal mailbox post, but rather something larger and reinforced. It was interesting, but we passed by and thought nothing of it. A few weeks later, that mailbox was down on its side, having been struck down by some ne'er-do-well. The following week, the box itself was all that remained, sitting on a concrete slab.

A few weeks later, we noticed that the owner of the mailbox had put in a new one, a metal pole, buried in the concrete. We figured this must have happened to him before, and he was tired of it, so he took a few precautions.
Lo and behold! Within a month that mailbox, too, was downed by a driver who could not stay on the road. Was it the same person? Do they know each other? Is there history there?  Here lies the story, that I shall leave unto your imaginations.

Over the next several years, this became a thing. Bigger and better mailboxes, in all shapes and sizes, all defeated, until the owner took out all the stops. He laid, by hand, a brick fortress, no less than a 4 foot cube, covering all but the very front of that mailbox. It was a beautiful piece of craftsmanship. The only thing it was missing were gargoyles to ward off its foes. It also took him a month to complete and it stood there for at least two years.

Then, a few months ago, on our drive to church, we noticed that the foul villain, whoever it may be, had demolished the mailbox. There were deep tire tracks leading up from the curb into the lawn. Mortar dust and brick shrapnel were all that could be seen of the poor mailbox. It was like that for weeks, a shameful wreck of what it had been. It seemed that this was it, that our evildoer had finally broken the spirit of the mailbox owner, and not simply his mailbox.

Until a couple of weeks ago. As we were driving by, I noticed the mailbox was once more standing erect, defiant, like a giant middle-finger towards its foe, albeit a skinny one. It was basically taped to a broomstick handle stuck in the yard.

I suppose this is a cheaper, easier alternative than replacing the thing every time.  But still, it is a testament to a spirit that did not break, but learned how to bend.

The Dragon Prince

I have been watching some kids' shows (which is something that I get to do quite often given my occupation).  I thought I would give some of them some reviews.  My qualifications?  I'm a writer.  And as such, I will judge them on their writing, and possibly a bit on their acting.  And perhaps my poor opinion on their art.


So here it goes.

Netflix's The Dragon Prince
(with very mild spoilers)


I was pleasantly surprised.  You might look at this and see its animation as modern-day rotoscoping, but to be honest it works.  And as such, I expected it at first to be nothing more than a simply fantasy with dragons and elves.

But it is so much more.

First, the writing is truly exemplary.  The villains are good people in their own eyes, as they should be, and it is more than possible to see their points of view.  Some are even capable of heroic acts.  But they are capable to truly villainous acts that you wouldn't normally see in a kids' show.  The heroes are also flawed, but in very human ways.  However, it's the ways in which the characters are strong, and represented, that make this show extraordinary.

Like Avatar: The Last Airbender, and The Legend of Korra, The Dragon Prince pushes the boundaries of what is allowed in childrens' programming.  We start out with an interracial royal family, nothing too major... only to fid that the king's sister-in-law is deaf.  Yet, despite being deaf, she is strong.  She's a general who takes on foes even when she is at a disadvantage, because it is the right thing to do.  We have Queen Sarai, the closest advisor to her husband and a warrior like her sister, but who stands up against her husband when it is the right thing to do - and then supports him even when she disagrees with him.  Then, there are the two queens of the neighboring kingdom who are in love and even share a kiss on-screen.

The show deals with some heavy issues as well.  Sacrifice, the loss of loved ones, betrayal and redemption, trust, loyalty, truth, broken families, love.  Actions have real consequences, something rarely seen in a show for kids.  Halfway through Season 2, one of the characters gets paralyzed.  The characters almost all have to deal with real grief, and they do it in realistic ways.

Beyond that, the writing deals with the fae in ways that you usually only hear about when reading stories as an adult.  I am truly impressed at the research and ingenuity.  Magic is not just something that you do - there is sacrifice.  I do not wish to go into details, as I do not wish to post any real spoilers, but I am simply in love with how they write the elves. Especially Aaravos.  And I really like Rayla.  She's the sort of hero that is perfect for the story and for today.

It also is funny, not just to kids but to adults.  It makes modern references for the sake of jokes, but not enough to bring you out of the story.  It can make fun of itself, as well as you, the audience, without being insulting.  The epitome of this is "human Rayla" where she pretends to be a human and in doing so points out all the ridiculous things that we do.  As Ezran puts it, I am a big fan of human Rayla.

A little on the animation and acting.  They really are both good.  The animation is different, but it's not bad.  The characters have incredible expressions.  The magic is awesome.  The character design is wonderful.  And the voice acting is wonderful.

So, in short, I highly recommend watching this show, even if you don't have kids.