A Look Forward to 2024

 Hello everyone!

It's that time of year again... when none of us really know what time or year it is.

That's right! Tomorrow is New Year's Eve!  Woot! Goodbye 2023, hello 2024!

It seems a lot of my friends have had a bad 2023. It's not secret that I had a pretty good 2023 (despite losing my dad). So I thought it would be good to look forward to 2024! I want to split it into goals (things I have some control over), hopes (things I have little control over), and resolutions (ongoing behavior).

Goals:

Although I wanted to get published in 2023, it looks like I will get my book out in early 2024. So my biggest goals revolve around promoting myself and my book and driving up sales. I want to get my website running, get merch set up for it, get ads set up for it, promotional material, etc. etc. etc.

I have been working on an audiobook. My goal is to have it ready to go before mid-January. I may have to rerecord a couple chapters, though.

I have a second novel I'm working on. I want it published by July.

I have a children's book I'm working on. I would love for it to be finished and released in 2024.

I have a third novel I'm working on that I want published next year. 

I want to have the fourth and fifth novels well on their ways so they can hit the market in 2025.

I would like to start working with a group I know on the audiobooks for numbers 2 and 3.

Hopes:

Of course my biggest hope next year is for A Sinister Love to be successful. But even if it isn't, I'm not going to stop writing novels any time soon.

I want the Board Game Rundown to at least double its subscribers. Getting a salary from it would be incredible.

Resolutions:

I have two main resolutions for 2024. The first is to read at least 12 books. I haven't been reading enough, especially for a serious novelist.

The second is to write 2 articles for the BGR a month.

This all is a LOT of work. 2 years ago, his would have been an absolute pipedream. Hell, if you told me back in January that I would be poised to publish three books in 2024, I'd have thought you were lying. I am determined to make 2024 MY year.

TV and Book List

 I previously stated that I do not watch a lot of TV.

But I thought it would be good to talk about what I do watch and read.

Let’s start with the TV.

I am an anime fan and have been for as long as I can remember (the early 80s). In recent years, though, I’ve become much more discerning in the anime I watch. It sort of exploded, and with that came a host of crap anime simply not worth my time (many of which are quite popular). One anime I am currently watching is Spy X Family. Not sure if that “x” is pronounced, I usually skip it. It’s about a fake family consisting of a spy husband from a neighboring country, an assassin wife of incredible strength, and a telepathic little girl that may be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen (sorry kids). Of course, none of them can let the others know the truth. The spy is wanted and his current assignment requires him to infiltrate the social circle of a certain politician, which is best done by having a child join a specific school and excel in their studies. So he adopts a girl who was experimented on (he doesn’t know that) and can read minds (and she’s deathly afraid that if anyone finds out, they’ll give her up and experiment on her again) to enroll her in the school. But the school requires a complete family, so he had to get a wife. The wife is worried that her solo lifestyle will become suspicious and she’ll get turned into the secret police. She was one of the best candidates on the spy’s list of potential wives, so when she showed interest, he asked if she’d help him make a fake family (she thinks it’s just to get the girl into school). And, of course, her brother clandestinely works for the secret police. The entire thing is wonderfully contrived and hilarious. One thing I noticed while watching it was that I would think “If I wrote this, I’d have such-and-such happen” and then THAT HAPPENED. So of course I want to see more.

I’m also watching One-Punch Man, an anime about a bald superhero who is a hero “for fun” but wants some sort of recognition… and challenge. The problem is, he’s so incredibly powerful that no one can hurt him and he can defeat any opponent with a single punch. I was worried this would suffer from some sort of power creep (as I call it, Dragonball Z syndrome), but, in reality, it makes fun of the power creep, as well as a bunch of famous stories and animes. It’s funny and worth checking out.

Beyond anime, I finally started watching Good Omens on Amazon Prime. The story, based on the novel by the same name, is about an angel and demon who are attempting to stop the end of the world because they both LIKE it here. But Neil Gaiman (who wrote the novel with Terry Pratchett) is taking it further than the book. I must see this. Plus David Tennant is one of my favorite actors.

It would be remiss of me to leave out the show I probably “watch” most often: Bob Ross’ Joy of Painting. Of course it is mesmerizing to watch a splash of color suddenly become a mountain. But I don’t really watch it as much as leave it on in the background while I am working. It’s not intrusive and provides enough background noise to distract the ADHD part of my brain.

There are several shows that I cannot recommend enough, but as I am not currently watching, I will talk about them later.

As for what I am reading…

I am pleased to say I finally finished The Hunchback of Notre Dame (unabridged) by Victor Hugo. It only took me 30 years. Granted, I stopped halfway and only came back to it recently.

I’ve been reading some light novels, Spice & Wolf by Isuna Hasekura. There are 24 or so as of this writing. They are short, easy reads, but I enjoy them. The premise is that a wolf “goddess” of harvest, Holo the Wisewolf, left her village and began traveling with a 25-year old merchant, Kraft Lawrence, to her homeland far in the north. Of course there’s a romance angle, but mostly Holo just loves teasing him. The reason I particularly like this series, though, is that it tackles something I’ve never seen in a novel before: economics. It’s almost entirely about business and economics and how they would work in a fantasy world and the ways people might try to work the system. Sounds boring, but it’s quite fascinating. There is an anime, but that only covers the first 4 or so books. 

The next thing on my reading list is Her Unwelcome Inheritance by J. Aleksandr Wooton. This is the first book that my publisher released, and I know the author so I owe it a good reading. I will let you all know my impressions. (Of course, if I get the 10 or so Spice & Wolf books that I asked for for Christmas, it will be hard resisting their temptation.

My New Years Resolution this year will be to read at least one novel a month. I might adjust this goal depending on how it goes.

Getting Things Done

 Well it has been a busy time, as per the norm around here. And this is of course made all the busier with the advent of Advent/Christmas.

And yet, I managed to finish the penultimate round of edits (I think) of Novel #2. How do I do it?

Neglect!

No, really, it requires putting things into a priority list and being willing to either cut corners or leave something undone for a while. I’ve posted before about how much work I have ahead of me (through every fault of my own), so I won’t go into the details. But in order to do these things, I’ve hired a maid to clean the house (and the basement remains a mess more or less… for now), I find quick and easy recipes for dinner (fall-back recipes and crockpot recipes are great, as well as frozen food), and I set aside a time for specific things (having a time limit helps me with doing the essentials first). This last one I am still working on.

But it’s hard. I have a supportive wife (who works long hours but also helps with chores), and honestly, if I was single, I would likely be living in squalor. I am lucky that I don’t have to worry too much about money, while so many writers out there struggle to make a living.

I also have given some things up. TV has become rare. I don’t watch TV to unwind… I write or work on other projects. The closest thing I get to TV is watching youtube channels (science, late night comedians, or history typically) while I cook or do dishes. I used to roleplay online, but I’ve stopped that (and, if you are someone I RPed with, I apologize for disappearing). Once upon a time, I had a ton of hobbies and groups I partook in, but most of those have been put on an indeterminate hiatus.

And why have I given all these things up? I normally would never condone surrendering hobbies.

But being able to craft a novel, getting it ready for publication, improving a story through feedback and editing, working with artists…

It not only makes me happy, but it is deeply fulfilling.

I’ve always wanted to be a novelist. When I was a little kid, I wanted to be a substitute (everything, substitute everything) and a writer. When I got a bit older, I wanted to be a paleontologist and a writer (and when I say “older” I mean that one of the biggest reasons I’m not currently a paleontologist is because the university that had the program I was interested in never responded to my application). In college, I wanted to be an engineer and writer, then a technical writer and fiction writer.

So it shouldn’t be surprising how excited I am to be on the cusp of achieving my lifelong dream.

At the moment, I am working with the same artist on some supplementary art and eagerly awaiting my publisher to finalize the contract (hopefully in the next few days). I’m also recruiting my brother (a rather accomplished computer graphic artist) to help me with ads and promotional material.

Seriously, I’m so excited about this I’m showing random strangers I run into my cover art! If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to hold a physical copy of my book by Christmas. I might cry a little. Or a lot.

I think the next thing I am going to tackle is finishing the audiobook. I have the initial recordings done, but I need to make sure it is all satisfactory (no random cat meowing in the background, for instance), free of artifacts (pops and the like), and then meets the requirements of Audible (my low and high ranges are good, not the mid, and they require a certain amount of “silent room noise” before and after every track).

One thing I *could* use is a beta reader or two to go over the second novel for me. If you happen to be interested, leave a comment (no one is going to leave a comment).

Now I must go. My time limit for blog-writing is nearly up.

Rest

 I am sad to say that my father has passed away.

He left us on November 21st.

https://www.egan-ryan.com/obituary/David-Hixon

Transitioning

 This is a very strange and important time in my life.

I certainly had not anticipated being in Ohio this past weekend.

My plan had been to have my book just about ready to publish at this point so I could release it on Black Friday. That’s now 5 days away and I’m still waiting on things that are out of my hands. It may well be that I don’t make this deadline, but I won’t worry about something I have little control over. Plus, I am still riding the high of getting the final render of my art, finishing the rough draft of book #3, finishing the audio for the audiobook, having finished the plotting of book #4… For the first time in my life I feel like I could actually be something. This, writing, is what I was born to do, what I want to do. 

But life is more than writing.

And it doesn’t last forever.

When I got a call from the hospice telling me my dad is in the final stages of his “transition,” I dropped everything (almost literally—I was helping a friend move) and made the 5-hour drive here. He hadn’t opened his eyes in a week, his body had started shutting down, and he hadn’t responded to anyone in days. They told me the end was “imminent.” When I arrived, he was only taking about 5 breaths a minute and his oxygen levels were very low. But he did open up his eyes and look at me. For about 3 minutes I could have believed that he was about to get up and ask what we were all standing around for. Now he is resting, the “little death” of sleep. 

They call it “transitioning” and I can see why. It is comforting, for us and for our departing loved ones. For those of us who are religious, it reminds us of the hereafter. And it evokes a feeling of change. The change in the transitioner is obvious, but it is also a change for those left behind. We must take the lessons their life taught us and forge ahead, bringing their good with us. It is a time to think back on all the ways they changed us and vice versa.

There comes a point when there are more memories made than to be made—none of us really want to think about that and so we don’t, not until it is near the end. I may well be there now. Thinking back, dad has lived a good life. He was a good man, a good role model. At times, his was a lesson on what not to do, but even when he failed, he didn’t give up. When I pass, I want those made memories to be good ones, for me and for my loved ones.

So, it is not a bad thing that I will likely miss this deadline of mine. Even if I had total control over it, life events like this one are more important. But I will remember the lessons he taught me. I will not give up. This roller coaster of emotions is temporary and will pass. And perhaps the high of getting published is in some way negating the feeling of loss. I like to think, however, that it is the good memories doing that. As my dad continues his transition, and I continue my own, I will keep those good memories in mind.

A Milestone

 BEHOLD Hixonites. I HAVE RETURNED from my cave of hyperfocus. And I bring tidings of joy!

I have finished the rough draft of my third book! At the moment it is a little over 50k words long. I was getting a bit worried there, but I’m sure it will get longer once I go through it again.

That means in 2023 I have written and mostly edited a book (my second, “Fate & Fortune”), written a children’s book (working with the author, my good friend Monica Marier, on the pictures for it, “Brian Buys a Brachiosaurus”), recorded an audiobook, written several small “bathroom reader” type books (rough drafts), and finished the rough draft of another book (Book #3, “A Date with Destiny”)! And it’s only mid-November!

As soon as my cover artist finishes and the formatting is completed, I will also be able to say that I published my first book! I’ll be a published novelist!

I cannot express how pumped I am about this, not to mention how proud I am of myself.

So, I have a month and a half until 2024. What shall I accomplish?

Here’s a list of things I could tackle:

• finish editing Book #2 and send it off to an editor
• hire a cover artist for Book #2
• get my website up and running
• make ads for Book #1 and figure out how to get them out there
• look into events where I can sell (probably author signings and the like—getting a table will have to wait until I have more products to sell)
• “master” the audio for my audiobook and figure out how to get it set up
• record audio for Book #2 OR look into Forteller and see how that process works and its cost
• figure out this whole “social media” thing to start getting my name out there more
• get some short stories into some publications to start getting my name out there more
• look into ARC readers (do I need them?)
• start writing Book #4 (which I’ve already outlined and am SUPER stoked about writing—it continues the story of Scribble and Paul from Book #1. It will be titled “A Sinister Hope”)
• start writing Book #4 (a creative nonfiction piece I’ve been trying to write for years. obviously whichever one I decide to write first will be #4)
• figure out how to link ads to Amazon in such a way that it increases my profits
• edit, format, and finish the bathroom readers
• write more bathroom readers (I’m planning a series of them that, who knows, might become a compendium)
• write and record music to play at the start and end of the audiobook

I clearly will not be able to do all, or even most, of these things in the next month and a half, so I will need to prioritize. And I have several other novels in mind that I want to get to after these, so from the look of things, I have my work cut out for me.

Oh yeah, there’s also Thanksgiving and Christmas, the Board Game Rundown, and family obligations. In addition, my father has Lewy Body Dementia (and probably Alzheimer’s). He’s currently in hospice and we do not know how long he has. For all the wonderful things happening right now, there are some pretty unpleasant ones, too.

Until next time, keep reading, keep creating, and have a happy Thanksgiving!

What I’m up to

For the longest time, year after year, I felt useless. There’s a Christmas song that asks what you’ve done this year, and I hated hearing it because my answer was always the same—nothing. I’d always have some excuse. To be perfectly frank, the reason came down to undiagnosed/medicated depression and unmedicated AHD.

At the beginning of this year, I took care of both of those problems.

So I thought it would be nice, on a personal level, to go over what I’ve accomplished this year.

• I wrote a book in 4-5 months.
• I was in charge of my lodge
• I played music at church every week
• I went to GenCon and Origins as part of the Board Game Rundown
• I hired an editor and cover artist and am now weeks away from having my first book published
• I recorded an audiobook
• I write a kid’s book
• I wrote 2 booklets about serial killers
• I traveled to California AND France
• I helped finally move my parents (an ongoing and massive affair)

I certainly can’t say I have done nothing. But the year isn’t over. So here’s a look at what I am currently doing and planning.

• I’m halfway-ish through writing a sequel to the book I wrote earlier this year
• I am remastering the audiobook
• I am working with an artist on the children’s book
• I am editing book #2
• I am working on a creative nonfiction book
• I just finished outlining the sequel to my first book.
• I’m working on an animation project with my brother and sister
• I’m getting my website up and running
• I have been training at the gym and have made many personal records

My therapist says I bite off more than I can chew. I have to agree with her.

At the start of this year, I was determined to make 2023 my year. And I think I have. For the first time, I feel like I can actually do something, be something, like my dreams are really achievable.

With the book so close to be done and the outline to its sequel finally figured out, I feel like every day is Christmas. I haven’t felt like this in a long time. I’m so excited I can hardly sleep!

A word on words

 I remember when we entered “The Information Age.” It was around the late 90s. The internet was booming and data was the new big influence on the economy.

Then we entered “The Disinformation Age.” That started somewhere around 2010 or so, maybe earlier. We started seeing websites promoting conspiracy theories and actual “fake news.” Certain news agencies ramped up their political bias and began spreading outright lies or not reporting news that their political party did not like. There were a few major bad actors that most of this came from which were then spread far and wide. We began seeing “deep fakes” and photoshopped images. Over time, it became harder and harder to tell what was true, what was a reliable source.

And too many people don’t want the truth. They want comfort. They will believe anything so long as it aligns with their politics and makes them feel good about themselves. They’ll allow, ignore, or outright defend heinous acts because of some lie they read or watched. Hatred and bigotry became commonplace.

Then, in 2016, we entered “The post-Truth Era.” We are still there. Truth has become subjective to an absurd degree. If you repeat a lie loud enough and often enough, it “becomes” the truth in the eyes of those willing to listen. Little lies won’t cut the mustard; lies must be big and ridiculous. I have listened to conversations where otherwise intelligent people take some piece of untrue propaganda as obvious truth so they can vilify others. It is not commonplace for politicians to completely lie through their teeth and then get supported by their party’s media outlet to further spread the lies.

But words matter. Truth matters. You can’t make something true by simply repeating it constantly. It is high time we entered “The Consequences Age.” We need to know that telling lies is not acceptable, that you can’t just get away with lying because it sounds good.

If we don’t tell the truth, then words have lost their meanings.

Back on Track

 Hey-o, Hixonites!

I’m proud to say that I have my cover artist working on my novel’s cover right now! It’ll take a bit, but that’s just how things roll sometimes.

I’m a little behind where I wanted to be (before Halloween) but I think I’ll be able to start selling by Thanksgiving. At least online.

Speaking of, I have so much to do for Halloween yet! I haven’t decorated or bought pumpkins or planned the party or figured out costumes…. I plan on hosting my wife’s department Halloween party dressed as Sweeney Todd and she’ll be Mrs. Lovett. We’ll serve meat pies (of course)!

But unfortunately I’ve been sick. This is the second week I’ve had something keeping me from doing the Rundown or really being myself. Last week, stomach issues, this week it’s a nasty cold that just won’t go away (it’s not COVID at least—I still haven’t had COVID). It’s been giving me headaches that have made it hard to look at screens.

Here’s hoping I’ll be healthy the rest of the year, what little of it remains.

France pt deux

 So it has been a little bit since I was in France, but I promised a later update.

Since I stayed in Nantes for most of the trip, I did stuff in Nantes, not Paris.  I DID go to Paris for a little over a day, though.

While in Nantes, I got to tour a castle (which gave a history of the city as well, the kids "loved" it). It was right in the center of the city next to the cathedral (it's a shame the cathedral won't reopen until next year at the earliest). To make up for the lack of cathedral, I dragged the kids with me to the Church of St. Nicholas, which was actually quite beautiful. Although the kids resisted at first, I could tell they were awed the moment they stepped inside.

I also went to their Natural History Museum and completely geeked out over the specimens (none were huge or famous, but they were all very interesting).

The kids and I went to the Isle of Machines, a warehouse that houses a bunch of robots and machines, which all imitate nature. THAT WAS AWESOME. We saw a robotic chameleon catch a fly, drove a giant ant, flew in a mechanical heron, and got to ride on a truly massive mechanical elephant. The kids loved.  I loved it.  I highly recommend it.

When we went, they also had a race (might've been the first annual race) between 2 mechanical dogs. They were big (like car-sized) and one of them drooled incessantly. The entire town turned out to see it.

Of course, there's a lot of culture in France... I had to shove it down my kids' throats. We went to an art museum and at first they were bored and awful. But then I had an inspiration. I saw a painting of Jesus walking down stairs towards a crowd with light shining down on him, turned to my daughter, and said, "What's everybody looking at? Is there something on my face?"  She cracked up.  We started making commentary for most of the pieces and the kids ended up enjoying themselves. We also found a new favorite piece of art... a crowd of people celebrating while they have a cat in a purrito and are force-feeding it (while the cat glares at everyone like it is planning their destruction). THIS WAS IN THE 1300s! People don't change. And neither do cats.

We ate a lot of crepe. We all had snails. We ate well. I was proud of the kids for trying new foods. Which, incidentally, McDonald's in France is very different. Reusable cups and french fry holders, bleu cheese burgers, different sauces on the burgers... it had a patisserie inside it!

As I said, we did spend a day in Paris, but I didn't realize that the Rugby World Cup started that weekend and Paris was FULL. We were able to walk the Champs des Elysee and get to the top of the Arc de Triomph, and went at the perfect time. While we looked out over the city, the Eiffel Tower lit up for us. It was awesome.

Unfortunately, pretty much everything else was booked. And they were booked for like a month out. Still, we walked around Paris, got to see Notre Dame (it is looking pretty good, only the central pillar collapsed, they saved the ceiling, and they plan on opening it to tourists again maybe next year), went to the Louvre (which was chaotic, huge and chaotic), got to be grifted (yeah, I saw you reach into my wallet and take that 20 out. I took it back and if I ever go back and they try that fake charity stuff with me again, I will absolutely go no-holds-barred on them), strolled along the Seine... It was a pretty good day.

So that was my trip to France in a nutshell. Thank you, Google Translate app, for the few instances where I actually needed you.

Setbacks

Writing a novel is fun and I love it.

Publishing that novel is definitely a job.

In the last week I was supposed to get my manuscript back from my editor and have amazing cover art for it.

Instead, my editor needed an extension because she had to go to the hospital. On the plus side, she said that so far my novel is "brilliant." But it still means having to wait a little longer.

And this morning my cover artist canceled the contract because he is sick and cannot continue it. I will give them both the benefit of the doubt, as I think they are both talented and their work history is at a professional level. I am a bit concerned for the artist though; if he is sick enough to have canceled the contract outright and not ask for an extension, he could very well be seriously sick. 

I do hope they both get better soon. Hopefully I will be able to consider him for a future project.

But this does mean I need to find a new cover artist.

Now, I have a rather robust imagination. Apparently it is unusual to be able to not only hear your own inner monologue, but also "see" detailed, colored scenes as well as "smell", "taste", "hear," and "feel" them. This is a serious advantage when I am attempting to describe a scene, emotion, or situation. I can attack it from various angles, easily rewrite it, go as in-depth as I wish.
But for me it is also a disadvantage when it comes to art.

I don't think in *still* images. What looks good in my head might not look good on paper because in my head, nothing is static. I also default to "photorealistic" things; figuring out an art style is completely foreign for me.

What this boils down to is that I end up scanning through hundreds of examples/samples of artists' works and rejecting the ones I know I don't want. That's easy... the first go around. But then I have to do it again on the ones that are left, and so on, until I have it narrowed down to one. That part is not so easy, partly because I'm not set on any specific style. And it all takes time.

I can't take weeks to decide this time. So wish me luck. My busy schedule just got busier.

France

 As I write these words, I am sitting on the couch of a 5th floor apartment in Nantes, France.

I do love traveling, though doing so with kids is a challenge.

For starters, I have to find food they will eat, which is hard enough to do in out own country.

They also aren't so interested in some of the awesome museums and churches to visit, or in walking around (which, at the moment, is the way we are getting around).

But there are some pleasant surprises here.

First, though I did expect to find lots of people who speak English, even those who claim they don't can speak enough English to communicate. Lots of signs and menus are in both French and English. When I enter an establishment where someone doesn't speak English, they almost immediately direct me to their coworker who does.

Second, we showed up at an interesting time. There was a "dog race" between two giant, mechanical dogs that pulled in a huge amount of people. It was interesting. There's also a carnival next door to our apartment for the next week, which, of course, the kids want to go to and remind me of this constantly.

Sadly, the Cathedral is closed until 2024 or 2025 because someone started a fire in it back in 2020. :(

I was not expecting most places to be closed on Monday. I understand why many places advertise being open 7 days a week. They also have odd hours, often opening at 1 or even 4. 

So far, I've been able to use Apple Pay pretty much everywhere. I doubt it will work at the carnival, though.

I'll update more later.

Yay Capitalism.

 Hello Hixonites!

Yes, I just came up with that term. You can all call yourselves that now.

I have been working hard to get this book done, though I'm working on other projects as well, and I'll be on vacation in a week so I'm trying to get done what I can before then.

As such, I thought it would be nice to finally utilize the domain name I've been paying for for several years now. I have a free site using Wix, and that's the same place I purchased my domain through.

What I find awkward is that I cannot use that domain, even though I'm paying for it, without upgrading from a free site to a not-so-free site. So what should cost something like $15/year will end up costing more like $219/year.

... yay.

Here's the rub. I want to be a successful writer, And making money takes money. I have no delusions that my debut novel will be some amazing, runaway bestseller or get any movie deals (but, honestly, it would make for an awesome movie or series). But I have to keep costs in mind.

If I sell my book at $15 and it costs, say, $7 to publish, that's a supposed net profit of $8. Let's take taxes out of that, assume 1/3, and that gives me a profit of about $5.33 per book sold. Now, there's going to be a cost to ship the book, most likely, and I don't know what that would be.
But now let's add in the cost of an editor and cover artist. For the sake of easy calculations, I'll estimate it all to $1200. Yeah, not cheap.
In order to pay for that, I need to sell about 225 books. BUT I also need to pay for advertising and I haven't looked into that, yet. How many more books must I sell just to break even?
Except now with this website nonsense, I wouldn't be breaking even. I'd need to sell at least 3 books per month to pay for the website.
If I go to a convention, I would need to pay for the table. Let's say it's $300. Just to pay for that table would require I sell 56 books.

I'm a new author, with a debut novel, no agent, an indie press, and minimal fame (if you can call 3.3k subscribers to the Board Game Rundown "fame").

Seems fairly obvious that breaking even with one book it not going to happen for a long time, if at all. I *need* to get more books and gain an audience. If I can sell 1k books online, I'd be cooking.

But all this ignores one, final, deadly calculation.

My value. I did the calculations. My first novel took a long time to write, probably about a year, give or take, if you only count the days I was able to write. And taking the time spent, that could've been 6 months full-time. But my second novel took about 4 months to write, but that wasn't full-time. If I wrote it full time it might have taken a month. That's ~160 hours.
If I want to make just $15/hour, I'd need to sell 452 books per month BEYOND what I would need to sell to break even.

This is kinda daunting and depressing, is it not? Writing has been my life-long dream. It was always in my plans, even when I wanted to be a paleontologist. But unless I write a LOT or make it big, there really isn't much money in it. I'm blessed that I have a loving, supporting wife who makes a lot more money than I'll ever make (I'd need to sell well over 1k books a month just to get close). And I do know and have met authors who earn 6 figures writing.

If I lived in a society that places human values over money, artists would get a stipend. But how do we do that? Well, everyone is an artist deep down inside. Instead of subsidizing oil and corn or throwing ungodly amounts of money at military contractors (and before you claim that we need to have a strong military and lowering their budget would make us weak, I'll have you know that the Defense Department is the ONLY federal agency that has NEVER passed an audit), we should just give everyone enough money to survive.
Some of us would be happy just having enough to get by, but most of us would want to earn more than that. However, having enough to get by means we can take risks. If I wasn't married to my wife, I would need to have a full-time job and write on the side, which is very difficult to do. If I didn't have to worry about having food and shelter from the elements, I would probably just write books because I know that if I fail, I'm not going to starve to death or end up on the street.

Sadly, we have decided that human value is directly tied to your income. By that rubric, I am worthless scum, for I cost a lot more money than I bring in. Forget the fact that I'm a stay-at-home dad who does chores around the house all day, volunteers at numerous nonprofits, and plays music for my church pro bono. According to capitalism, none of those things matter.

I like to think that they do. And so does art. Even if I touch just one person, I've made a difference with my writing. One of the things that keeps me going is the idea that my book(s) will be someone's favorite(s), they just don't know it yet. 

The Forever Family Emergency

Hello dear reader,

I do say "reader" because if you are reading this, you are probably the only one.

Something I've been going over with my therapist (yes, I have a therapist, everyone should have a therapist) is the fact that I tend to give myself far too much to day and then get overwhelmed. I need to give things a priority.

Priorities change.

As I'm getting ready to finish editing a novel on Friday night, I essentially get a desperate plea for help from my sister 250 miles away. Like a good person, I pack up and make the 4+ hour trek in the middle of the night.

To truly understand this situation, you're going to need some background.

My dad has hydrocephalus, which means there is essentially water on his brain, which is leading him to have dementia and what is more than likely Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's runs in his side of the family, so watching him deteriorate is like looking down the barrel of a gun that'll go off in 40 years.

My mom has had... issues her whole life, and I recently discovered that they are all symptoms of a mental disorder called "OCPD" - Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. This is not OCD. If you have OCD, you are compelled to do something but you don't really have a reason for it, you don't even want to be doing it but you don't have a choice. You must do it and if you don't it'll eat you up until you do. But with OCPD there is a thing you are compelled to do because it is Right and Good and only You can do it and Your Way is the Only Way to do it and No One Else can help you and God Help Anyone who tries to stop you. Another way of seeing it is that someone with OCD might seek treatment while someone with OCPD doesn't believe they have any condition at all and will likely resist treatment. It also comes with fun comorbidities, like hoarding. My mom has an issue with cleanliness... but she also has piles of crap everywhere, they're just sterile piles of crap. Oh, and then there's the manipulation, including breakdowns, lying, gaslighting, "I'm the victim" mentality, and undermining.

She believes she can care for dad, but she can't. Even the doctors said it is not a safe situation. For instance, 3 weeks ago, he blacked out and had to go to the hospital, which turned into dangerous, life-saving surgery and a 20-day stay. In the end, this was going to be a good thing, as it meant dad was going to have the treatment he needed. But some social worker put in some hospital notes that my dad was being belligerent. Well, yeah, it's called "sun-downing" and "recovery from brain surgery." But because of that note, the social worker pretty much ensured that no memory-care facility will take him now. And while my mom and sister were checking out the only one that would take him (which turned out to be a hard no), another social worker tried to get dad discharged, which meant he would have to go to the terrible facility or home. 

So I drove there to try to help get him home. Of course they decide not to discharge him when I arrive, and I end up wasting a whole day just trying to deal with my mom's OCPD. I gave up writing, I gave up playing music for church, I gave up recording the Board Game Rundown to help get my dad home, and of course an hour after I leave, mom is trying to force my dad to do things he doesn't want to do and they are yelling at each other. If he gets too defensive or belligerent, he could seriously hurt her and not mean to.

This is the problem.  I would call APS but now I know it will do absolutely no good. And my mom still insists on doing this all on her own. She needs help, in-home care at the very least. But she'll never accept it. She won't give us enough information to start an insurance claim. She won't let us assist her. She can't give up her obsession with things being clean. She utterly refuses to do anything about the piles of junk that have sprung up (oh my word, this story is the TIP if a massive shitberg that I just don't have time to write here). And she almost immediately started to lie to me and my sister and try to gaslight us. If you know me and my history, you'll know I find lying to be abhorrent. It's bad enough my son does it, but he's 7. My mom!? 

This situation is much larger than I've revealed here. When I tell people (generally professionals, like therapists or the Alzheimer's Association doctors, what have you) the whole thing, the reaction is always the same: "That's a really tough situation you're in." Yeah, I know. I'm watching my dad's brain deteriorate, knowing that may well be my fate, while my mom just makes it all infinitely worse and prevents us from helping. Tough doesn't come close.

This is all happening as I'm trying to get my first book published, starting an animation project with my brother and eldest sister, and trying to write/film a how-to-play. I'm feeling overwhelmed and my depression keeps trying to take hold again.

I can't wait for writing to become a priority again.

Editor Established!

I have procured an editor!

I am excited and I very much hope she is worth the cost. I'm also a bit nervous. But now, it is the waiting game.

Once she finishes, I get to go through all her notes and fix things. Hopefully that won't take too long. Then, COVER ART!

Of course... as I'm writing this, I realize now that I had intended to fix all those hyphens (- ) into m-dashes ( — )...

I thought I would give a quick overview of some of the ideas I have rattling around in here that I want to be made into books:

• An urban fantasy set in the same universe about a man trying to change his fate. (in editing stages as well)
• A sequel to the previous book. (currently writing)
• A sequel to my FIRST book. (been in the outlining stages for a while) which will bring in the previous two books as well.
• Potential sequel to that one.
• A creative nonfiction piece about my sister and having to deal with psychosis. (ALSO been in the outlining stages for a while, but I've got some research done on this one)
• A fantasy book/series about a dragon cursed to live as a human. (rough)
• A sci-fi about living on a planet that has been ejected from its star (rough)
• A tongue-in-cheek non-fic about adulting
• A fantasy series that I started writing ages ago.

So there's certainly not much need for inspiration as far as what the next book will be...

Welcome to Life

I know only a handful of people will read this (unless I somehow become extremely lucky and gain fame and notoriety that would put Beyonce to shame). I know I have a lot of work ahead of me if I’m going to start gaining a readership. I once had a good 80 or so people reading this thing you know!

But I’m going to do it.

It’s scary. I remember hearing someone say “you aren’t really afraid of failing, you’re afraid of succeeding.” Well, no, I’m definitely afraid of failing. I’m afraid that I’m either a terrible writer whose beta readers, friends, and family have all been lying to, or that I will become just another story of an amazing author kept down by his inability to market himself. But in a sense I am also afraid of succeeding.

I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to marketing and self-promotion. I used to be internet savvy, back when Numa Numa was still a thing. Not so much any longer. I’m using a few guideposts while looking for more. But I know I have my work cut out for me. I know it will be a ton of work that I’m unfamiliar with and might not be good at if I am going to succeed. And if I succeed, what will that do to the family dynamic? Our schedules will become complicated.

As an example, I am also one of the co-hosts of the Board Game Rundown on youtube and we’ve earned over 3.2k subscribers as of this writing. We’re talking about turning this gig into a paying job with hours and everything… which will mean writing and marketing and publishing and selling will all have to happen on off hours.

If I am successful, life will get complicated.

But I think it’s time for that. I’m 42, never had a real career, always had a hard time holding on to jobs (apparently have some self-respect is not something employers actually want), and have been spinning my wheels for 10 years. It is time I got my professional life started. I might be a late bloomer, but by God I’m going to bloom.

Paying the Piper

So I've done it.

I pulled the trigger.

I finished removing passive voice from my story and have inquired 7 editors for quotes.

I got 5 of them back.

Now I am sad.  One of the problems with starting out on a venture is you have no idea what a good ballpark figure for expenses is.

I was told by some that they have good editors who will look at work for $200. The last time I got a quote from an editor (nearly 10 years ago), it was around $500. These professional editors, however, are looking more like $1,500 - $2,000 for my 100k novel. 

This starts to become an issue in terms of pricing.  I do not want to take a massive loss on my first book (well, more than I have already but I will explain later). I have a publisher lined up who will charge $7 per copy, pretty much wholesale.

Let's assume I sell this book at $15.

I have to include any money I spend on advertising and other costs. So let's say in the end I have about $5 profit.

I will need to sell 300-400 copies of my book to break even from the editing alone.

Ouch.  For a first book from an unknown author, that is ouch.

On top of that, there's the cost I haven't included...

my own worth.

I have to take into consideration what my time is worth and how long it took to write the book. It's a $/hr thing.

Granted, my first book took a while, but my second took much, much less time. As I continue down this road, the time will likely decrease which will increase my $/hr. 

I eagerly await the estimates of the final two editors, and I will continue my search. There may yet be a decent editor out there who will charge a lot less.

But at least one good thing came out of it. One of the editors, whose specialty is my genre, said the sample I gave her was entertaining. That's got to count for something.

At the cusp

Things all seem to be so close to taking off. 

The Board Game Rundown is going to be at Origins and this year we have our own booth! We’re getting to interview some big names and are making real connections. I cannot state how excited this makes me! It’s a hobby I love and I might be able to turn it into a real job! Plus, I get to spread awareness of board gaming as a sort of board game ambassador (I’ve essentially been doing this for decades–I frequently try to find what board game an interested person might enjoy).

I am looking for agents for my first book, A Sinister Love. I have finished writing a second book (just 5 months) and ready and eager to have readers give me some feedback. I have been brainstorming ideas for sequels to BOTH books, as well as a creative nonfiction book I’ve been aching to write for years.  It feels like I’m just a few steps from making it as a writer, even though I know there’s so much work ahead and I cannot know how close I actually am.

At the same time, I’ve been practicing guitar a lot and am getting much better. I have plans for recording, possibly even offering my services online.

My brother and I are working on a script for an animation he is making. We have plans for more.

I am close, but i cannot drop the ball. I have to keep going, and there’s a lot to do. I need to do my due diligence to the rundown. I need to start writing for magazines and the like. I need to push myself a little harder in my guitar playing (and learn to sight read).

I’m just a little worried that this is all for naught. Either nothing is going to pan out despite my best efforts, or I will sabotage myself. All I can do is plug away one day at a time.

Juggling

 I've actually been able to get things done recently, but this leaves me wondering... when am I going to slip up?

I'm juggling so many things, what if I forget something or an emergency crops up (as they are wont to do)? Will I be able to fix things and keep juggling, or will everything come crashing down?

At the moment, I am still figuring out some sort of schedule. I still have plans for things, so many things, but that's just adding more balls in the air for me to juggle. If I do that, I will need a good schedule. With summer coming on and my kids about to get out of school, my schedule is going to have to change. How will this alter things for me?

There are so many out there doing this on their own. I, however, am lucky that my wife is on my team. She understands and helps me treat this as my job. If she wasn't in my corner, my chances of being a successful writer would be dead in the water.

Today I went through a bunch of old things I'd written... from as young as the age of 4. It's very clear that writing was always something I was interested in and decent at. I am struck at how much they made me write in school compared to how much they make my kids write. But, no, I'm not going to save these things. There's not going to be some future researcher looking for my first writings - I have no delusions that I will ever be that famous or good. Yes, I want to have this story read by as many people as possible, enjoyed by them all, but fame and fortune are not my goal and never have been. Still, I need to be fairly compensated for this work. It's a career, not a hobby.

Impatient

 Am I impatient?

Yes.  Yes I am.

We all are, aren't we? We all want that instant gratification that modern technology promises, that we've all grown accustomed to. But while looking for a literary agent, instant gratification is just not happening.

All that I've learned says that I need to take the time to gain exposure in the community.

I've won Daily Deviation from DeviantArt 3 times, but I doubt agents care too much about that.

I used to write flashfic every Friday, but it means nothing if it's not published in a magazine.

I disliked Twitter before it was purchased on a whim and run to the ground by a puerile, spoiled manchild. Now I hate it. I hate that it's gradually turning into an extremist echo-chamber. I hate that everyone in the industry uses it so much.

I tried to be involved locally, but COVID shot that down.

The Board Game Rundown is growing and I love it, I'm excited for it. But it's not exactly a writing forum. I've also been absent from the discord. It's not that I'm not interested, I just have so much to do and don't know what to say.

So my dilemma is, do I start getting myself out there now while I look for agents, or do I wait to look for agents until I've gained some exposure?

I am impatient. So I will attempt the former. But I'm going into this guns blazing. Twitter, yes. Short stories for magazines, yes. Articles for BGR, yes. I might even check out Goodreads. And this blog? I used to have a readership, now I must build it from the ground up all over again. At one point I was writing a story one chapter at a time here. I think I might start that up again.  Then there is HixonArt. My twin brother is a rather good digital animator, but he is never satisfied with the stories he comes up with. He has asked me to write some for him, and we've already started. We are both happy with what we've come up with, and I cannot wait to see it transition into reality!

The most likely reason I feel impatient, other than the fact that it's taken so long to get things in order, is that I am close. Those last 100 yards to the finish line can feel like a mile.

Hitting My Stride

 

I'm terrible at making good posts. I don't use pictures because I don't feel I should be bothered. I rarely edit them. And so far, posting has been few and far between as it is.

It's been like that for A LOT of things in my life.

There was a point where my basement was torn up and basically unusable, I'm forced to deal with a child with encopresis (look it up) which included a hospital visit, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, I was spending time going to my sister's house hundreds of miles away to prepare a house for my mother who will be *very* ungrateful for all the work we've done, I was busy with the freemasons, the house was a disaster...   The list of things goes on and on and on. Truly, I could continue for paragraphs about how insane things have been. This is just scratching the surface.

A lot of that was due to COVID. It really messed things up, physically, psychologically, etc.

So I decided enough was enough. I was 40! And I've accomplished none of my goals!

At some point in the last 2 years, I became fed up with incompetence. I decided I would no longer coddle those who did an unsatisfactory job. This, however, included myself! Nay, it was mostly about myself. So I started taking steps to improve my life.

Step 1: Get my ADHD under control. 

I've had it since I was a kid, but I'd never properly educated myself about it. So I did. It was eye-opening to finally connect certain behaviors and understand what was really going on. If you want to know more, check out my article about it on the Game Talk Network. One of the things I learned, though, is that ADHD is highly treatable, and it had been ages since I took medicine for it. So I went to my doctor and we tried out a few until we found a medicine and dose that works for me.

Step 2: Get my depression under control. 

While dealing with ADHD, my doctor realized I was also suffering from depression, and had been for quite a while. This did involve medicine as well, but it also involved finding a therapist. The first one was not a good fit for me. We got into political arguments and she offered no insight or help. The second, though, is a very good fit and I like her a lot. It helps to have her break things down, even just to have someone to talk to about things.

Step 3: Get in shape.

I've always been an active person, but my relationship with gyms has been on again, off again. Part of the problem is that I have NO IDEA what I am doing at the gym. This is where not putting up with incompetence comes into play. I hired a personal trainer. He knows about general fitness, as well as strength-building, stamina, agility... This summer will mark 1 year with a personal trainer. I've gone from doing 0 pull-ups in my entire life to being able to do over 12 in a row. I have gained strength, I look better, and my knees hurt a lot less.  Oh, did I not mention that I have arthritis? Pretty severe arthritis, in fact. I could barely climb stairs. Last week, I used a single leg to slowly sit and stand, 3 times each leg. There are other benefits. Being fit improves your focus, your confidence, your mental acuity, and your immune system. 

Step 4: Stop pretending I am what I'm not.

I'm not a plumber. I've never laid tile. I have no idea how to do electrical. I have no interest in learning these things, either, yet I've been youtubing it for years. No more! I hired someone to take care of my floor. I will hire someone to get rid of our ridiculous amount of dead leaves (we are literally in a forest of massive trees). I may even end up hiring a maid to help keep this house clean. These are things we can afford, and they will free up SO MUCH TIME AND STRESS. Yes, they can get expensive, but it is worth it for me.

Step 5: Get back my time.

One of the biggest problems I've had is not spending my time wisely. I roleplay online, play video games, watch tv and movies... being a gamer/geek takes a lot of time. Well I have almost stopped with video games altogether, TV and movies have been cut down drastically. I spend the time, instead, writing. To me, it is actually more entertaining and fulfilling to be able to work towards my goals and write my own story than watch someone else's story. Facebook and the like can get dangerous, so I must be cognizant of how much time I spend on social media. Online roleplaying has been cut down, but at times I feel guilty for abandoning my online friends. It will likely always be a balancing act there, one I'm bad at.

Step 6: Get my house in order.

This is the one I am currently stuck on. But because of all the other things I've done, it has been easier. I put in a system to help with dishes - and often this means paper plates. I was tired of my dishwasher never getting things cleaned, so I got a new one. We've replaced curtains we've hated since we moved in. We took off the terrible wallpaper in the office and painted it. Things are slowly getting cleaner and the house is gradually becoming "ours". But it is still a work in progress.

Step 7: Return to hobbies and prioritize them.

I am a creative person, not just in writing. I've had goals and hobbies that have fallen by the wayside. So I'm reigniting the passion. I'm trying new ones. I'm drawing, building models, playing guitar... and there are so many that I cannot do them all! So I need to prioritize, give them the time they need and give more time to those which are more important. My therapist says that this is actually quite important for my mental health, and I have to agree. Since I've picked up guitar again, I've been calmer and I get excited at the prospect of getting to play. Instead of watching TV, I'll transcribe a song by ear. I have plans for videoing and voice acting as well. It will mean improving my time management.

Step 8: Reconnect with my wife.

This is another one we are working on. Don't get me wrong - we're not in trouble or anything. We love each other and are loyal and happy. But a couple's therapist can help even strong couples, and we were hoping to get one. Time has been an issue (if you think I'm busy, I've got nothing on my wife!). We've been working to implement regular date nights. The last thing I want is to lose touch and for us to drift apart. Recent events have led me to appreciate her more. I'm hopeful that this all will lead to an even better relationship with her.

Step 9: Act like a professional.

Here's a tough one. I want to be an author with all my heart! But that means I will have to act like one. This means I need to start gaining an audience, to improve my social media presence, to spend real time looking for agents, to plan when to write, when to handle the other half of being an author, and when to handle the rest of life. I will keep doing what I can to work towards being a true professional, keep learning and finding tools to help.

Step 10: Adjust expectations.

No one wants to hear this! We all want to get what we want in all its glory without any compromises. I want to be picked up by an amazing, talented agent who gets my book into big stores and turns me into a bestseller with movie deals and the lot! And I can hope for that, but I need to be prepared for failure. How long do I look? How many agents do I try? Assuming I do not find an agent or publisher, what is my next option? Self-publishing. I am lucky that I have a friend and he is starting up an indie press, but I will still have to do almost all of my publicity and sales. It'll mean getting tables at events. I'll want artists, maybe crowdfunding or online events. In the end, I want people to read and enjoy my books, even if I have to do all the legwork myself.

None of this is professional advice and I've not researched any of this. All of this is just what I've done.
The result?

I just finished the first round of edits for my second novel. Unlike the first, which I am still looking to publish, this one was finished in about 4 months. I'm currently looking for readers, but I am STOKED that I've been able to write my story in such a timeframe! Not only that, but it has inspired me for more! 

The next step is to look for agents, but I in a few months I will be start my third book. I can't wait!

Is This How We Should Judge Society?

   by: Spencer Hixon

 "U-S-A! U-S-A! We're number 1! We're number 1!"

    It's a pretty common thing to hear nowadays. Has been for decades, and I can't exactly blame people for believing that the United States is the best country in the world. Americans have made so many advances in technology and science and have controlled the flow of culture that the world would be an indistinguishable place otherwise. From literature, movies, and fashion to feats of industry, business, and medicine (and so much more), this country has made an indelible mark on nearly every life.

    But we are not without our problems.

    The United States is indeed number 1 in terms of money (1), Olympic medals (2), and military spending (3). But we are also number 1 in incarcerations AND incarceration rates (4), mass shootings in developed countries (5), guns, guns per capita (6), and school shootings (7). We appear to be a very violent people. But believe it or not, I'm not here to talk about guns.

    We have other problems, such as the 582,000 US citizens who are homeless (8), the 37.9 million US citizens who are in poverty (9), and fact that 6.7% of US citizens use illegal drugs (10). We are the most prodigious consumers of drugs in the entire world.

    But this article isn't about those things either. Then again, it is about all of them.

    When we are trying to determine how well a country is doing, perhaps the best place to look is to its foster care.

    The foster system in the US is, to put it mildly, broken (11). It's something no one seems to want to deal with. "Adopt, don't abort" is a nice sentiment, but if you do nothing to improve the adoption system then you are contributing to a host of problems in a feeble effort to deflect blame and claim some higher moral ground. Dumping kids in foster care is a terrible thing to be doing when the system seems designed to put them out on the street.

    Few people, it seems, are aware of the facts. I would like to change that a little.

• Over 50% of the homeless in the US were once fostered
• 40-50% of kids in foster care end up homeless within 18 months of aging out
• 65% of foster kids don't have a place to stay when they age out (12)
• Almost 20% of our inmates were once fostered
• 70% of foster kids who age out are arrested before they turn 26 (13)
• Foster kids are 3 times more likely to drop out of High School. Only half finish school
• Only 3-4% of fostered kids graduate from college with a 4-year degree. (14) This is in contrast to 36% of the general population
• Foster kids are 42% more likely to die than non-fostered kids (20)

    These do not equal a working foster system. What's worse, a disproportionate number of foster kids are black (15). Children of color in the fostering system wait longer to find a home than white kids do (16). They are more often abused.(17)

    So let's follow the conveyor belt of the fostering system.

    A child, through no fault of their own, ends up in foster care. In the first year, she lives in 4 different homes. (18)The child suffers abuse at the hands of their foster families and even other foster kids, but she isn't believed and nothing is done about it. Due to ever-changing family situations, neglect, or the fact that she ends up getting pregnant as a teen, she drops out of high school. After 15 or 20 homes (19), the child is too old for the foster system and is put out on the street. With no shelter, no money, no skills, no GED, and no family, she becomes homeless. In order to survive, she steals, turns to crime, turns to drugs and is subsequently arrested. Her child is born, but taken by the state due to neglect and put into the foster system. Chances are high that she will die young.

    The foster system is self-perpetuating. It is often poorly regulated. It contributes to many other problems in society. Yet we ignore the plight of these kids. Why?

    There are under 400,000 kids in our foster system right now. The government spends only about $15 billion on them, coming out to around $15,000 per foster kid per year. That is more than the US government claims makes someone poor (21) in most states. Yet that money clearly isn't being used well.

    This is a problem we can solve. It might take time, but increasing our spending on foster care, decreasing the amount of money lost by the system, adopting federal regulations, and providing housing and education for a certain number of years after aging out would do amazing things for these kids. In an ideal world, healthcare would be free for them for life, they would have a universal basic income, and a college education wouldn't cost them a dime. We obviously do not live in an ideal world.

    By this rubric, how we are handling our kids in foster care, the US is far from number 1. Yet, if we bothered to care and tried to solve this problem, it would improve the lives of every citizen and make this country stronger and better. We're the USA. We can do this.

    The catch is, do we want to?